[tri-med] Re: Teasing

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Karen" <karens@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> When Alex was only one year old I made a conscious decision to mainstream
> him regardless of his disabilities. Its been a challenge at times and we /
> he
> often miss out on things because I have chosen this stance. But we also
reap
> the benefits.

I hear you on that one.

> But a lesson I have come to appreciate yet again this summer is that of
> normalacy. I wanted Alex to be treated normally, to be one of the kids.
> But you know what - he isnt.

When it goes back to 'what is normal', well, dealing with these types of
issues is Your normal.

That was a monkey on my back for many years. Trying to get Alex to be
'within normal range'-- in areas of developement, intelligence,
medically --took precidence and it was my mission.

I don't regret those years, even though USA Alex remains 'different'. The
biggest pain in my heart is how 'different' will translate into adult life
for Alex.
Last week he came home from the school dance following a basketball game. He
was visibly upset but wouldn't tell me what was wrong.
Last night I finally learned that it was because girls kept turning him down
to dance. He'd only been on the dance floor once.
It just breaks my heart.

But you know what?  Alex is going to the dance tonight after the basketball
game. Bless my child's head and heart.......he just doesn't give up.
And that gives me hope.

We're currently looking at Alex's senior year of high school in terms of
scheduling classes and I'm scared spitless! What in the he** is he going to
do after that?????

> He also needs to be treated the same as other kids - but with
understanding
> and temperence. Thats a hard one to explain. But Alex doesnt think the
same
> way other kids do - he just doesnt have the same reasoning.

I know exactly what you are saying. USA Alex gets that sometimes, or should
I say 'others' don't get that is what they need to do. And that's scary as a
parent to see.

It's hard to let children 'go' but it's harder still when you know that they
don't have the where-withall to protect/deal with/take care of those
situations themselves.

> So I am not asking him to be treated differently just with understanding
and
> thats hard to explain to his peers - because in so many ways he is just
like
> them, its just that in others he isnt. Not explaining this well am I?

Living in the gray zone of trisomy I have an understanding.
{{{{{Karen}}}}}

> He is a sweet and loving child but that also makes him vulnerable.

Oh yes......USA Alex doesn't suspect people of anything other then what they
present. It's very scary.

 >> And to make it worse Alex is way more accepting and understanding of the
> whole situation than his mother is. Mum worries - too much!!!

Isn't that in our job description?
:-)

Michelle mom to Alex (17, partial trisomy 14 mosaic) and Molly (14)
MichiganUSA


                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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