[tri-med] Teasing

----- Original Message ----- 
From: <verheyen
> > Today Meagan our 10 year old daughter told me that a couple of the kids
> > at her school called Cody a retard and they said that meant she was not
> > a "normal kid".

It must definitely be the age that they do this. Alex received a lot of
teasing last year and it factored greatly in my decision to allow him to
repeat the year.

I have worked in the field of pediatric diabilities for many years - long
before Alex arrived on the scene - and what never ceases to amaze me is the
fact that I am always learning.

When Alex was only one year old I made a conscious decision to mainstream
him regardless of his disabilities. Its been a challenge at times and we / 
he
often miss out on things because I have chosen this stance. But we also reap
the benefits.

But a lesson I have come to appreciate yet again this summer is that of 
normalacy. I wanted Alex to be treated normally, to be one of the kids.
But you know what - he isnt. Alex is Alex and he can't be Dylan, or Peter or
Michael or Jake. Alex is Alex. And Alex will always be different, will 
always need supervision at the very least.

He also needs to be treated the same as other kids - but with understanding 
and temperence. Thats a hard one to explain. But Alex doesnt think the same 
way other kids do - he just doesnt have the same reasoning.

So I am not asking him to be treated differently just with understanding and 
thats hard to explain to his peers - because in so many ways he is just like 
them, its just that in others he isnt. Not explaining this well am I?

He is a sweet and loving child but that also makes him vulnerable.

The hardest thing the last few weeks has brought on us is the fact that Alex 
can't just go and play with his friends. He needs his mum there in the 
background and while many families are happy to have other peoples kids 
there, they arent so happy to have a mum hanging out all the time - somtimes 
yes but not all the time.

So Alex would ring a friend to come and play only to find that they were 
already at so and so's house. Alex cant go because I dont know the mum, or 
because the mum is doing whatever that mum does. And I cant always set these 
things up in advance because I never know from one day to the next what 
Alex's health will be. The only thing worse than no one being there to play 
is Alex looking forward to something and then not being able to because he 
isnt well enough.

So yes I want Alex treated like any other child, but he isnt any other child 
he really is special (just as Nancy always used to tell me) And yes all kids 
are special its just that often we dont see the crying need to treat every 
other child as an individual.

And to make it worse Alex is way more accepting and understanding of the 
whole situation than his mother is. Mum worries - too much!!!

"It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not 
how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving."
 ~ ~ Mother Teresa ~ ~

Keep Looking For Rainbows!!
   _--_|\
 /Karen \
 \ _.--._ /
          v Karen, Mum to Alex (10 years, T-18 Mosaic)
http://members.optushome.com.au/karens


                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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