[tri-med] Re: Talk rollercoaster ride!!!!- my depressing mood/g-d/abortion ment)

After much thought, might I add to all the responses, a response that is
difficult to contribute without sounding trite? Please forgive me in advance
if I come off this way... 

It is expectedly very easy for me to say that I wish for my precious Matthew
back when I think of all the wonderful times, the loving moments, the
special smiles, hugs...well, you know...through tears it is difficult to
even express how much I miss him and wish he were here again. I do not want
This simply needed to be said before I go on.

Going on...I would not be truthful saying that I wish back some of the
difficult times that were related to Matthew's care as I was his only
caregiver for the most part. I cry for many of you as you continue your
roller-coaster ride, I remember it all to well with bitter-sweet memories.
Please know that my prayers are with you.

Going on...I would not trade any of those difficult times for the
anything...they made me (God showed me how to be) a different person then I
could have ever imagined being. My personal decision to have Matthew was
worth every moment. Matthew touched the lives of so many and I believe that
every one of our kids has an incredible hand in making an effect on those
around them, sometimes in ways we will never know. Each and every case of
difficulties shared here prove to be unique and I cannot put myself in
another's place, yet I feel strongly that not one of these difficulties
undergone can have empty reason. 

I am in awe of the wonderful women (and men) that continue to contribute to
this list, what they honestly share of themselves and how they continue to
help each other. Hang in there and know that God has special plans, even if
we don't know what exactly what they are.


Ruth, wife to Rudy, mom to Brendon (24), Scott (20), Joshua (17), Matthew
(09/13/01-10/24/06), Rudy (4) & Alyssa (2)

http://members.cox.net/t18mom/Matthew%20Web.shtml

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of
trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and
success achieved. ~Hellen Keller






-----Original Message-----
From: tri-med-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:tri-med-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On
Behalf Of SHAMOND73@xxxxxxx
Sent: Tuesday, August 26, 2008 11:10 AM
To: tri-med@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [tri-med] Re: Talk rollercoaster ride!!!!- my depressing
mood/g-d/abortion ment)

i have been through nothing compared to how busy you have been the past few

weeks and years. but this week, i feel like i have just had it. i just don't

get  this whole world, or what g-d is doing with us. Of course this is
because 
of  Jason. i don't understand- i am supposed to believe that he is meant to 
be, that  g-d intended him this way, right?........that is what gets me
through 
my days,  that is why i did not have an abortion, that is what i believed.
 
but it bothers me that most trisomy's end in miscarriage and they say  
"because it was not supposed to be"..........i am having a hard time again
in  
dealing with this and my decision to have him. i want answers. This is so  
frustrating and because i knew early and had a choice i feel like i brought
this  on 
myself.
 
i feel like i have had enough and don't even want to be here anymore.  i am 
in no way suicidal. i just sometimes feel like heaven is a better place
than 
here and i rather be there than here. Because i just don't understand  this 
world. Its just not a happy place for me anymore. 
 
i have not felt this way in a while- so i guess i have had a few good weeks

and should be grateful for that.
 
Sharon Monderer
mom to Jason T17m, and Lauren 3 years od


**************It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your
travel 
deal here.      
(http://information.travel.aol.com/deals?ncid=aoltrv00050000000047)


                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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