Oh dear, you are suffering so. My heart goes out to you. My prayers go out to you, your suffering has purpose and beauty even though we can't understand it. You suffer because you are a good mother. Don't believe that having an abortion would have freed you from suffering. You would be suffering but it would be a different suffering, probably more severe because it's a different kind of suffering. You are doing good. I think that He never intended anyone to die. He made us with an immortal body and soul and the idea of the separation of the soul from the body at the time the body dies is horrendous. It wasn't He who brought death into the world but sin. Only because He gave us the freedom to sin is there death in this world. He did not will Jason to have this disorder, He does not will any child to be lost through miscarriage. Rather, He allows these tragedies for the greater good. Only we don't know what He knows so we don't always see how it was for the greater good. But we can be reassured that if we knew all that He knows we could see that what he allows was truly for the greater good. My family will pray for you tonight. Lena - mom to 7 living children; Paul 13, Tommy 10, Philip 8, Mary 6, Christa 4, Lucy 2 and Sarah my baby with trisomy 18, and wife to my inexhaustible, devoted husband, Tom -----Original Message----- From: tri-med-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:tri-med-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of SHAMOND73@xxxxxxx Sent: Tuesday, August 26, 2008 1:10 PM To: tri-med@xxxxxxxxxxxxx Subject: [tri-med] Re: Talk rollercoaster ride!!!!- my depressing mood/g-d/abortion ment) i have been through nothing compared to how busy you have been the past few weeks and years. but this week, i feel like i have just had it. i just don't get this whole world, or what g-d is doing with us. Of course this is because of Jason. i don't understand- i am supposed to believe that he is meant to be, that g-d intended him this way, right?........that is what gets me through my days, that is why i did not have an abortion, that is what i believed. but it bothers me that most trisomy's end in miscarriage and they say "because it was not supposed to be"..........i am having a hard time again in dealing with this and my decision to have him. i want answers. This is so frustrating and because i knew early and had a choice i feel like i brought this on myself. i feel like i have had enough and don't even want to be here anymore. i am in no way suicidal. i just sometimes feel like heaven is a better place than here and i rather be there than here. Because i just don't understand this world. Its just not a happy place for me anymore. i have not felt this way in a while- so i guess i have had a few good weeks and should be grateful for that. Sharon Monderer mom to Jason T17m, and Lauren 3 years od **************It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. (http://information.travel.aol.com/deals?ncid=aoltrv00050000000047) Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows www.trisomyonline.org Families Helping Families On-line Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows www.trisomyonline.org Families Helping Families On-line