[tri-med] Re: Prediction

Hi Laurie,
   
  Thank you for posting this.  It is something I have been thinking about as 
well but never could have written my thoughts as eloquently.  My 18 day-old 
daughter died last February and my 18 year-old son went away to college last 
August.  They both left me in different ways, but they are both their own 
individuals separate from me.
   
  Ruth (Mom to Jillian - Full T13)
TRIER9@xxxxxxx wrote:
  Hi.........
I just read this and thought it was appropriate to share...wish I would have 
read it sooner!! 

With our normal kids, we approach the future as unknown and fill it in with 
our own happy fantasies. We cherish the illusion that they will always be 
alright, that everything will turn out for the best. We see their talents and 
abilities and dream of doctors and dancers, astronauts and presidents. Although 
we 
have moments of fear and worry, we do not count on there being bad things in 
store for them. In the bright landscape of our minds there are no serious 
accidents, terminal illnesses, or violent crimes. We do not persistently 
imagine 
their teen and adult years plagued bay bad grades, chemical dependency, 
depression, or failed relationships. However, when it comes to our child with a 
disability, we press to know the whole child now, including what her future 
will be. 
Instead of nurturing dreams inspired by her talents and abilities, we 
entertain nightmares fueled by her lacks and limitations. To imagine one 
child's 
future without pain or problems is as mistaken as believing that another child 
has 
no gifts or potential. Between these two extremes lies a more valuable 
awareness; we do not posses or own any of our children.They are not us. Their 
futures are not ours to predict and control. Our job is to discover who they 
are in 
the time they are with us and prepare them as best we can for the lives that 
are theirs to live.

from the book Changed by a Child.

Laurie





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