[tri-med] Re: Older boys and behaviour

In a message dated 10/05/2008 7:09:16 AM, jwaite@xxxxxxxxxxxxx writes:

<< Some days I think I'm rotten for not being more proactive but this is 
THEIR 

household and THEIR lives and until I'm invited in more to the situation I 

can't do more. >>

That reminds me of when my dad started failing about a year ago. My brothers 
and his wife's kids were worried they couldn't take care of themselves and 
that maybe they should go into assisted living. I was called in as the sort of 
impartial observer to stay for a few days and see how I thought things were 
going. I was pleasantly surprised at how well they did manage for the loads 
they 
were carrying. It was the start of a hard winter and they were both homebound, 
which meant no more driving for my dad. But, they did have a granddaughter 
coming in to help them every day for a couple of hours and to do their grocery 
shopping. They had a adapted quite well to having to stay in but were a bit 
annoyed that the in home OT/PT folks were coming before eleven AM which was 
their 
chosen time to wake up. I guess once my dad had put dishwashing soap in the 
dishwasher because he ran out of Cascade, but once we were in a group of 
adults, 
many of the males had made the same mistake. I figured it wasn't too bad a 
faux paux in 93 years. Most of the guys who fessed up were in their 40's. LOL 
Anyway my brothers were a bit surprised that I said let them stay home. We knew 
then that Dad was failing and I  saw how important to both him and his wife it 
was to be able to stay in their home of 30 years. Cognitively they were both 
pretty ok and my little intelligence gathering foray turned into a really nice 
visit. First time in years I had been anywhere without either Ali or Dom or 
both. Dad passed way in February and I will treasure that week I spent there 
last November forever.

Nan-mom to Dom, 24, tri 18 mosaic and bipolar; and Ali, 25, autism, TS, ADHD
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