[tri-med] Re: Mitchell

Dear Shea barja,

What a beautiful tribute to your Gabriel, but also what a lovely 
source of encouragement to all who have lost their children, what 
ever age they were. Thank you!

At 05:11 AM 1/03/2007, you wrote:

>Dear Jennifer,
>
>   I am so sorry for your loss.  I know your grief is overwhelming 
> and I hesitate to send you this email.  But as an older woman, I 
> wanted to share my experience if you are willing to listen.  Sp 
> many others on this list have endured the death of a child, and 
> those who love and care for you are carrying you through your loss 
> with their love and prayers.
>
>   Years ago, I miscarried my little baby Gabriel at 16 weeks.  We 
> buried him in a special place at a Lutheran church here in 
> Charlotte, for children born too soon.  I never went back.  I was 
> bitter and sad for about a year after he died.  One day, I realized 
> I needed to move on, be happy with the children I had, and the ones 
> to come, and know Gabriel was safe in Heaven.  I was so broken 
> hearted before God, I still wasn't pregnant again, and I wanted 
> Gabriel back.  But I was so broken.  I made a deal with God that 
> day.  I asked him, if when I die, Gabriel would meet me there and 
> call me Mom, I never had the chance to hear that beautiful word 
> from him, I could go on.  If Gabriel realized how much I loved him 
> those few blessed weeks, and how much I continue to love him 
> forever, I could do it.  It wasn't easy, but I felt love and 
> forgiveness for my bitterness wash over me, and peace in my heart, 
> finally.  Down the road, I gave birth to my last child, Wesley, born when I 
> was
>  forty.  And what a blessing he is.  I call him the frosting on my 
> cake.  I still look at my seventeen year old son Kyle, and Wesley, 
> who is thirteen, and see a fun-loving, free-spirited child, 
> somewhere between those two.  But Gabriel is far beyond a teenage 
> boy on the verge of manhood.  He must be so beautiful and 
> wonderful, having never known the sin and sorrow of this 
> world.  Gabriel is in Heaven, making memories there for us, as we 
> are making memories for him on Earth.  Fifteen years later, I still 
> think of Gabriel with a bit of sadness but mostly with love and 
> fond memories.  I wish I could have had him longer, but he is still 
> my son, and I am still his mother.
>
>   I write these words because although giving up one's child to God 
> at such an early age, at any age, is hard, there is always abundant 
> love to help you through your loss and the overwhelming sorrow you 
> are experiencing, and it will get better.  Grieve, grieve, and 
> grieve more.  One day, I promise, you will look back on your 39 
> weeks with Mitchell, with tears, gladness, and thanksgiving as the 
> time you grew an angel in your womb.
>
>   my~love~to~you,
>   shea barja
>
>
>---------------------------------
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>                   Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
>                        www.trisomyonline.org
>                   Families Helping Families On-line
>
>
>
>
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>25/02/2007 3:16 PM
>
>
>
>
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Jocelyn, Wife to Frank, Mother to Ian, Gillian & Susan. Maker of 
quilts, singer of songs,
Nanna to Carly 19, Mathew 18, Ashleigh 17, Alex 14, and Tess 10 years 
old with T18.
also step Nanna to Carrie age 19. & Great Grandmother to Eli, Jonas & Escha.
Living in NSW, Australia 


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Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.5.446 / Virus Database: 268.18.4/702 - Release Date: 25/02/2007


                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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