[tri-med] Re: Love and marriage and disabled kids!

In a message dated 05/28/2008 1:21:57 PM, mewildflower1@xxxxxxxxx writes:

<< This must be where the whole " Can't live with 'em.  Can't shoot em"  
saying comes in..ha ha.

Michelle Wilson, mom to Faren
 >>

Before Wade died, we always told each other that we would never get a divorce 
because neither one of us would take the kids. And as we got older, the idea 
of retirement and having time without kids held a certain charm. We knew Ali 
and Dom would always need extra looking after, but I had promised him that we 
would make sure they were in some out of home placement when they finished 
school. If he were alive, Ali would not be living at home as she is now. She 
would 
be in some kind of group home situation, similar to where Dom lives. Even 
though Dom has done some strange things, I believe he is more able to be safe 
in 
the world than Ali will ever be. Plus, he chose to move away from home since I 
am such a mean mother. (I have weird ideas about bathing often and changing 
clothes more than once a week). Wade and I hardly ever went anywhere by 
ourselves, because even our respite workers had a tendency to move without 
leaving 
new phone numbers, and we did not start getting respite services until just a 
couple of years before he died. Sometimes I did not think he worked as hard at 
taking care of the kids as I thought he should, but after he died, I realized 
how much he really had been doing all along. 

Nan-mom to Dom, 24, tri 18 mosaic and bipolar; and Ali, 24, autism, TS, ADHD
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