[tri-med] Re: Love and marriage and disabled kids!

No matter what the reason for the estrangement in a marriage, (drugs, 
disabled child, infidelity, lack of communication, selfishness, 
isolating behavior, or any of the other dozens of reasons, including 
physical or mental, a relationship can founder. It's a good idea to 
make a list of the pros and cons. honestly listing the good as well 
as the bad. Then a good counsellor can help you sort this out and try 
to make a decision as to whether you/he or she,  can salvage anything 
out of the relationship. That doesn't mean that years later you will 
NOT ask yourself "what if." Sometimes divorce is the only option. 
I've heard people say "It's the best thing I ever did". But there is 
no guarantee that it solves everyone's problems. I know many hang in 
there just because they feel they have no where to go, and it's 
better the devil you know. But a corrosive marriage (for both 
parties) can be health threatening. I think it boils down to how 
desperately you feel the need to be out of the relationship.

Just my almost 51 years of experience speaking from the heart, and I 
STILL DON'T HAVE THE ANSWERS.

At 07:20 AM 29/05/2008, you wrote:
>I was reading Jocelyn's beautiful email about her granddaughter Tess 
>and strangely enough read this line just as I was thinking about my 
>own marriage:
>
><<No it is not an easy road (the divorce rate is 75% in
>families with a disabled child I believe). >>
>
>
>Would anyone be willing to share any stories about their own 
>marriages with me?  One or off list is fine.  If you are still 
>married, what made you stay?  If you are divorced, what made you 
>leave?  Are you happy with these choices? I have to say that Faren 
>has brought out the worst in Rick and myself many, many times and 
>when you don't have many babsitters(practically zilch) and don't 
>spend time together alone you tend to only see this side of a 
>person.  That makes it hard to have an actual relationship 
>together.  I will admit I've been idling at a crossroads for a very, 
>very long time.  I want to make well informed choices in my 
>life.  It's hard to find the right path to take when so many other 
>lives(spouse, kids,my own) are at stake.  This must be where the 
>whole " Can't live with 'em.  Can't shoot em"  saying comes in..ha ha.
>
>Michelle Wilson, mom to Faren
>
>
>
>                   Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
>                        www.trisomyonline.org
>                   Families Helping Families On-line
>
>
>
>
>--
>No virus found in this incoming message.
>Checked by AVG.
>Version: 7.5.524 / Virus Database: 269.24.1/1469 - Release Date: 
>27/05/2008 1:25 PM

Jocelyn, loving Nanna to Tess with Trisomy 18, age 11 years
. 

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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