[tri-med] Re: Andrew Denton



>>>>>>>>My mother in law said something to the effect after Brendan was
born.  I was 
so angry with her for saying that. I told her,  Like it would be easier
if he 
died now or later.  Whether your newly pregnant or almost to the end,
have a 
new born or an older child its still a part of you and you still feel
the 
lose. >>>>>>>>>



yes people say stupid things..........I don't really think they think
them through........and you are right it does not matter when they die
it still hurts, in some ways I think it is worse if they are still born
or die as infants ( remember this is think because I have not lost a
child) but after talking to many my theory is that when you lose a
infant you lose an infant doesn't matter if they have 18/13 or not, it's
a double loss of a dream, with an older trier you have done, and
continue to mourn the loss of the dream child, I know its still hard but
I think its different. As I have said to friends I am scared she will
die and I am scared she will be 30 yrs old, and what a Sh**** place to
be as a parent, most people don't get it, but we mourn the loss  of the
"normal" child daily, we just try not to think about it ( one of the
girls next door is 3 months older then Rebecca and I really try hard not
to remember that, esp. when Bec's new worker thought the 12 year old was
closer to 19! ) I try to look at the bright side, Bec wont come home
with Tattoo's or pericings! Or unsuitable boy friends! 


Susan mom to Rebecca



                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
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