[THIN] OT: Friday humor

Original link: http://www.georgiagrrl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/hacker.htm ;
 
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Something nice I read on www.stophiphop.de (got pointed there by a comment on 
www.macguardians.de) is this nice story of a hacker: 
http://www.beast.mos-worlds.de/modules/new...php?storyid=184 (site might be 
down, quite a lot of people are reading this).

In case you don't speak german (just as this hacker), I've tried a little 
translation to english. I might have made some spelling errors, but the 
original spelling wasn't perfect either. The guy really said "buy buy" in the 
german version. I've posted this on the forum on http://www.desertcombat.com 
before, so if this looks familiar, might be the same. I've corrected some 
mistakes and put the < > back to the right version (The DC forum does not 
support them). All censoring was done by this particular forum here.
Notice that in germany we get DST earlier than in the US.

The story starts (I'm shortcutting here) with an [Please control your cussing] 
insulting everyone on the IRC channel. Most people there believed it was rather 
funny, but it got even more funny. For information: The dangerous hacker is 
called bitchchecker and the one being hacked and original author of the 
comments, who is talking here, is known as Elch. 127.0.0.1 is always the 
IP-adress of the computer you're currently using, any request there will return 
to your computer.


QUOTE
* bitchchecker (~java@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* bitchchecker (~java@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can't you discus normally
<bitchchecker> answer!
<Elch> we didn't kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker 
(~java@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> LOL
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you're stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST 
is applied.
<Elch> You're a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i'm quiet, hope you don't show us how good a hacker you are ^^
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you're dead
<Elch> Eh, it's 129.0.0.1
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that's it: 127.0.0.1 I'm waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I'm frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you'll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you're dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I'm shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
* bitchchecker (~java@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) Quit (Ping timeout#)



What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP-Adress in his mighty 
Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC. This way, the attack on my PC was a failure. 
I was already starting to think that I did not have to worry, but a good hacker 
never calls it a day. Two minutes later he returned.


QUOTE
* bitchchecker (~java@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you'd be gone
<Metanot> lol
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again... I still have the same IP: 
127.0.0.1
<bitchchecker> you're so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
* bitchchecker (~java@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) Quit (Ping timeout#)



There was a tension in the room... Would he manage, after these two failures, 
to crash my PC? I waited. Nothing happened. I felt relieve... Six minutes 
passed by until he prepared the next wave of attack. Being a Hacker, who 
usually cracks whole data centers, he knew what his problem was now.


QUOTE
* bitchchecker (~java@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What's up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don't know
<bitchchecker> i'm 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn't know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker if you're a hacker you have to get around a firewall 
even i can do that 
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past 
it...you girl^^
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you're letting them provoce you 
and give those little girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control 
your cussing]er
<Elch> Noo
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you're afraid
<bitchchecker> i don't wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a 
fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of 
hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that's an invitation and that has 
nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<Metanot> lol
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you're cool and don't dare going into the 
internet without a fire wall



He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall. I know that 
elder people are much more intelligent then younger, but I couldn't let that 
rest. To see whether he really is a good hacker I lie and let everything as it 
is. I don't have a firewall at all, only my router.


QUOTE
<Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you 
can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can't hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words ^^
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I'm still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i'm a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave 
and i can tell you 100.00% you're no hacker..^^
<Elch> 127.0.0.1
<Elch> it's easy
<bitchchecker> lolololol you so stupid man you'll be gone
<bitchchecker> and are the first files being deleted
<Elch> mom...
<Elch> i'll take a look



In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had I 
under-estimated him?


QUOTE
<bitchchecker> don't need to rescue you can't son of a bitch
<Elch> that's bad
<bitchchecker> elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
<Elch> yes, there's nothing i can do about it
<bitchchecker> and in 20 seconds f: is gone



Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn't matter, I did not 
have time to think, I was scared. bitchchecker was comforting me with a music 
tip.


QUOTE
<bitchchecker> tupac rules
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too



Drive E:? Oh my god... All the games are there! And the vacation pictures! I 
instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the hacker said it was 
deleted....

Or isn't it happening on my computer?


QUOTE
<bitchchecker> and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
<He> why doesn't meta say anything
<Elch> he's probably rolling on the floor laughing
<Black<TdV>> ^^
<bitchchecker> your d: is gone
<He> go on BITCH



The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! Bitchchecker turned my 
ancient disk sucker into a burner! But how did he do this? I'll have to ask 
him. Some encourage him. He himself is giving advice how to avoid the disaster 
on my hard drives.


QUOTE
<bitchchecker> elch man you're so stupid never give your ip on the internet
<bitchchecker> i'm already at c: 30 percent



Should I tell him he's not attacking my computer?


QUOTE
* bitchchecker (~java@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) Quit (Ping timeout#)



Too late... It's 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with the 
alias "bitchchecker". We see that he has a "Ping timeout". We haven't seen him 
since then... must be the Daylight Saving Time. 
 

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