[thebigjewel] One Spring Day - March 26, 2003

  • From: "The Big Jewel" <list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <thebigjewel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Wed, 26 Mar 2003 06:33:38 -0700 (MST)

* Ernst Albrecht spins a fine tale this week on The Big Jewel. We hope the
beginning of your Spring was a little less eventful than this. Thanks for
reading and have a great week.

One Spring Day
By Ernst Albrecht

I was floundering in the wake of an apocalyptic bender last Tuesday morning
when the intolerable mewlings of my dog, King Midas, awakened me. Due to an
oversight on my part, he'd been locked out of the house for several weeks
and was desperate to get back in. I touched a match to the pilot light in
my head and groped my way to the front door, pausing only once for an
unpleasant but very necessary side trip to the washroom.

I was going to throw a paperweight at the dog, but when I opened the door
my senses left me. Midas held in his mouth the limp body of a tiny old man.
He was bluish white, with a hopelessly bald head and a long, jaggedly
trimmed white beard. His eyes were a bottomless black with undulating
swirls of iridescent color floating across their surface. They were the
eyes of a gnome -- that rare breed of diminutive hobos who sleep in
abandoned cars and subsist entirely on peyote buttons. He was dressed in a
snappy purple suit with silver trim. He wore a wide, diamond-encrusted belt
from which hung a beautifully wrought silver dagger of Sumerian or possibly
Bolivian design.

To find out the fate of the tiny old man please visit:

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  • » [thebigjewel] One Spring Day - March 26, 2003