[thebigjewel] Minutes Of The Meeting Of The Board - April 22, 2009

  • From: "The Big Jewel" <list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <thebigjewel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:02:52 -0600 (MDT)

Welcome to The Big Jewel, where our beat-up VW van still sports "Save The
Whales" and "Boycott Japanese Goods" bumper stickers dating from the disco
era. Boycotting Japanese goods is a particularly satisfying source of
moral smugness now that everything is made in China. None of which has
much to do with Omar Beer and his first piece for us, a surreal exchange
in which no whales are saved (or harmed, for that matter):

Minutes Of The Meeting Of The Board (Børd) Of The High North Alliance

By Omar Beer

HIS HONOR, THE CHAIRMAN brought the meeting to order. He described the
crisis in international whaling -- namely, that whaling appears to be
totally irrelevant in the modern world. He presented to the floor the
question, "Should we disband and find other work?"

THE ESTEEMED MEMBER FROM THE FAROE ISLANDS' PILOT WHALER'S ASSOCIATION
spoke at length, though in a language that others at the meeting could not
understand. He smoked a corncob pipe...

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