[thebigjewel] Clarifying My Relationship - June 19, 2002

  • From: "The Big Jewel" <list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: thebigjewel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Wed, 19 Jun 2002 06:15:34 -0600 (MDT)

* This is the first weekly email from The Big Jewel. Please consider this 
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Clarifying My Relationship
By Neil Pasricha

Last year I married a very nice lady, developed a relationship with her 22-
year-old daughter from a previous marriage, divorced the very nice lady 
because of philosophical differences, had a child with her 22-year-old 
daughter, and then was at a loss for words, for I was caught in a 
mysterious web of undefined relationship titles. 

My new child, a daughter, was certainly my daughter, I don't deny that, but 
wasn't she also my grand-step-daughter, since she was the daughter of my 
step-daughter? Or did the step-daughter rule not apply since I had already 
divorced the very nice lady who was the mother of the step-daughter, 
thereby nullifying all relationship titles associated with that key central 
relationship? And what was I supposed to call the mother of my new 
daughter, the 22-year-old, whom I had not married nor even dated? She 
wasn't my wife or girlfriend, but calling her my step-daughter from a 
previous marriage seemed a bit, I don't know, square. 

To get myself out of this embarrassing headache I married the 22-year-old 
daughter, who was the mother of my new zero-year-old daughter, formerly 
called my grand-step-daughter. I say formerly because when a man and a 
woman get married and produce a baby girl, the baby girl is called the 
daughter, case closed, right? All previous relationships involved in 
producing the baby girl go out the door, right? For clarity, that's what 
I'm assuming. Also, the 22-year-old daughter of my ex-wife, my step-
daughter, was now also my wife, which I decided must supercede all other 
relationship titles. 

I rested easy for a few minutes after the wedding, kicking off my dress 
shoes in the back of a Lincoln as we rode to the airport, thinking I had 
finally sorted out these relationship titles. My "wife" and I had a new 
baby "daughter," I thought, smiling slowly at the image of this perfectly 
nuclear family I had helped create. We would grow up together in a quiet 
cul-de-sac, with other families such as ours living next door, shooting 
free throws on our driveway in the afternoon, watching office-based sitcoms 
in the evening, and erasing our Internet cache at night. It would be so 
perfect. 

For the full article please visit http://www.thebigjewel.com/clarifying/

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