* Kurt Luchs gives us a great middle-of-the-week laugh with Boneheads in the time of life, death, and SARS. Take a break to enjoy this great article, and remember to cancel all non-emergency travel to Toronto. --- Boneheads By Kurt Luchs September 14 -- Africa at last! After weeks of preparation and days of nausea aboard rickety twin-engine prop planes and even more rickety Jeeps, we reached the famed Olduvai Gorge where some of the earliest known human remains have been discovered. My excitement at arriving was tempered by the realization that Professor Donaldson is here also, seeking evidence for his asinine theory that the earliest humans possessed the secret of sheer pantyhose. To my colleague Dr. Rollo and myself, on the other hand, it is apparent that the first humanoids perished precisely because of the lack of proper leggings. Professor Donaldson crashed our arrival celebration and argued his point by giving a disgustingly graphic demonstration of what early man might have looked like in nylons. Meanwhile, I had our cook fill his pith helmet with dung beetles. When he put it back on the beetles believed they had found a mother lode of their favorite food and attacked his bald cranium savagely. He ran off screaming, but I fear we haven?t seen the last of him. For the full article please visit: http://www.thebigjewel.com/boneheads/ --- To subscribe or unsubscribe from The Big Jewel's Hilarious Weekly Email please mail us your request in a manilla envelope with a freeze-dried saliva sample verifying your identity.