[thebigjewel] Boneheads - April 23, 2003

  • From: "The Big Jewel" <list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <thebigjewel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2003 10:47:16 -0600 (MDT)

* Kurt Luchs gives us a great middle-of-the-week laugh with Boneheads in
the time of life, death, and SARS. Take a break to enjoy this great
article, and remember to cancel all non-emergency travel to Toronto.


By Kurt Luchs

September 14 -- Africa at last! After weeks of preparation and days of
nausea aboard rickety twin-engine prop planes and even more rickety Jeeps,
we reached the famed Olduvai Gorge where some of the earliest known human
remains have been discovered. My excitement at arriving was tempered by the
realization that Professor Donaldson is here also, seeking evidence for his
asinine theory that the earliest humans possessed the secret of sheer
pantyhose. To my colleague Dr. Rollo and myself, on the other hand, it is
apparent that the first humanoids perished precisely because of the lack of
proper leggings. Professor Donaldson crashed our arrival celebration and
argued his point by giving a disgustingly graphic demonstration of what
early man might have looked like in nylons. Meanwhile, I had our cook fill
his pith helmet with dung beetles. When he put it back on the beetles
believed they had found a mother lode of their favorite food and attacked
his bald cranium savagely. He ran off screaming, but I fear we haven?t seen
the last of him.

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  • » [thebigjewel] Boneheads - April 23, 2003