[thebigjewel] August 28, 2002 - The Lesser Song of Songs, Which Is Sheba's
- From: "The Big Jewel" <list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: thebigjewel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 28 Aug 2002 20:54:29 -0600 (MDT)
The Lesser Song of Songs, Which Is Sheba's
(With Apologies To King James)
By Kurt Luchs
1
Let him not kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy tongue is as a
lizard's tail, which pulled off doth regrow tenfold. Nor yet with the
kisses of his nose, for thy nose runneth over. Nor yet with the kisses of
his ears: for thou art truly weird to ponder such a thing.
Thine ointments cleave to me, and their savour doth repell insects and
anything that breathes; yea, even the Shittites avoid me, and I cannot get
a table at the palace cafeteria.
I have compared thee, O my love, to a herd of mountain goats leaping from
a cliff: the sound of their skulls when they land is sweet and comely.
Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant, nay, bland as a potato
baked in polyunsaturated fats: also thy concubines are tax-deductible.
A bundle of old clothes for Amvets is my beloved unto me; he shall lie all
night bewtixt my breasts, not knowing what to do with them.
Please visit http://www.thebigjewel.com/songofsongs/ for the entire article
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