Saying I love you

Saying I Love You

 

Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand.

- Mother Teresa

 

When I was a new mommy, I invented a quiet little signal, two quick hand 
squeezes, that grew into our family's secret "I love you."

 

Long before she could debate the merits of pierced ears or the need to shave 
her legs, my daughter, Carolyn, would toddle next to me clasping my finger

for that muchneeded support to keep her from falling down.

 

Whether we were casually walking in the park or scurrying on our way to 
playgroup, if Carolyn's tiny hand was in mine, I would tenderly squeeze it twice

and whisper, "I love you." Children love secrets, and little Carolyn was no 
exception. So, this double hand squeeze became our special secret. I didn't

do it all the time-just every so often when I wanted to send a quiet message of 
"I love you" to her from me.

 

The years flew by, and Carolyn started school. She was a big girl now, so there 
was no need for little secret signals anymore . . . or so I thought. It

was the morning of her kindergarten class show. Her class was to perform their 
skit before the entire Lower School, which would be a daunting experience.

The big kids-all the way to sixth grade-would be sitting in the audience. 
Carolyn was nervous, as were all her little classmates.

 

As proud family and friends filed into the auditorium to take their seats 
behind the students, I saw Carolyn sitting nervously with her classmates. I 
wanted

to reassure her, but I knew that anything I said would run the risk of making 
her feel uncomfortable.

 

Then I remembered our secret signal. I left my seat and walked over to her. 
Carolyn's big brown eyes watched each of my steps as I inched closer. I said

not a word, but leaned over and took her hand and squeezed it twice. Her eyes 
met mine, and I immediately knew that she recognized the message. She instantly

returned the gesture giving my hand two quick squeezes in reply. We smiled at 
each other, and I took my seat and watched my confident little girl, and

her class, perform beautifully.

 

Carolyn grew up and our family welcomed two younger brothers, Bryan and 
Christian. Through the years, I got more experienced at the mothering game, but

I never abandoned the secret "I love you" hand squeeze.

 

Whether the boys were running on the soccer field for a big game or jumping out 
of the car on the day of a final exam, I always had the secret hand squeeze

to send them my message of love and support. I learned that when 
over-sentimental words from parents are guaranteed to make kids feel ill at 
ease, this

quiet signal was always appreciated and welcomed.

 

Three years ago, my daughter married a wonderful guy. Before the ceremony, 
while we were standing at the back ON LOVE 3 of the church waiting to march down

the aisle, I could hardly look at my little girl, now all grown up and wearing 
her grandmother's wedding veil, for fear of crying. There was so much I

wanted to say to her. I wanted to tell her how proud of her I was. I wanted to 
tell her that I treasured being her mom, and I looked forward to all the

future had in store for her. However, most important, I wanted to tell her that 
I loved her. But I was positive that if I said even one word, Carolyn and

I would both dissolve into tears.

 

Then I remembered it-our secret signal. I left my place and walked back to 
Carolyn. As the organist began to play, Ode to Joy, I took Carolyn's hand and

quickly squeezed it twice. Our eyes met, and she returned the signal. There 
were no tears, there were no words exchanged, just a secret "I love you" that

I created one sunny afternoon, when I was a new mother. I am no longer a new 
mother . . . but a new grandmother.

 

Today, I was strolling with my little grandson, Jake. His tiny hand was holding 
on to my finger, and I couldn't help remembering his mother's hand in mine

over thirty years ago. As we walked, I gave his hand two quick squeezes and 
whispered, "I love you." He looked up and smiled.

 

Linda Carol Cherken

 

©2005. All rights reserved. Reprinted from Chicken Soup for Every Mom's Soul by 
Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Heather McNamara and Marci Shimoff. No

part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or 
transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of

the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., 3201 SW 15th Street, 
Deerfield Beach, FL 33442.

 

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