[SeniorTech] Witty Sayings.....


 







Ø   I asked God for a bike, but I know God  doesn't work that way. So I 
stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.  

Ø   Do not argue with an idiot. He  will drag you down to his level and 
beat you with experience.  

Ø   The last thing I want  to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. 

Ø   Light travels faster than sound. This is why  some people appear bright 
until you hear them speak. 

Ø   If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.  

Ø   We never really grow  up, we only learn how to act in public. 

Ø   War does not determine who is right - only  who is left. 

Ø   Knowledge  is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in 
a fruit salad.  

Ø   The early bird might  get the worm, but the second mouse gets the 
cheese. 

Ø   Evening news is where they begin with 'Good  evening', and then proceed 
to tell you why it isn't. 

Ø   To steal ideas from one person is  plagiarism. To steal from many is 
research. 

Ø   A bus station is where a bus stops. A train  station is where a train 
stops. On my desk, I have a work station.  

Ø   How is it one careless  match can start a forest fire, but it takes a 
whole box to start a campfire?  

Ø  I thought I wanted a career,  turns out I just wanted pay checks. 

Ø   A bank is a place that will lend you money,  if you can prove that you 
don't need it. 

Ø   Whenever I fill out an application, in the  part that says "If an 
emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". 

Ø   I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was  blaming you. 

Ø   Why does  someone believe you when you say there are four billion 
stars, but check when  you say the paint is wet? 

Ø   Women will never be equal to men until they  can walk down the street 
with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they  are sexy. 

Ø   Why do  Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 
50 for Miss  America? 

Ø   Behind every  successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a 
successful man is usually  another woman. 

Ø   A clear  conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 

Ø   You do not need a parachute to skydive. You  only need a parachute to 
skydive twice. 

Ø   The voices in my head may not be real, but  they have some good ideas! 

Ø   Always borrow money from a pessimist. He  won't expect it back. 

Ø   A  diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way 
that you will  look forward to the trip. 

Ø   Hospitality:  making your guests feel  like they're at home, even if 
you wish they were. 

Ø   Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes  misery easier to live 
with. 

Ø   Some cause happiness wherever they go.  Others whenever they go. 

Ø   There's a fine line between cuddling, and  holding someone down so they 
can't get away. 

Ø   I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.  

Ø   I always take life with  a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a 
shot of tequila.  

Ø   When tempted to fight  fire with fire, remember that the Fire 
Department usually uses water.  

Ø   You're never too old to  learn something stupid. 

Ø    To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you 
hit the  target. 

Ø   Nostalgia isn't  what it used to be. 

Ø    Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no 
imagination  whatsoever. 

Ø   A bus is a  vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as 
when you are  in it. 

Ø   If you  are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people 
have more than  one child? 

Ø   Change is  inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Other related posts:

  • » [SeniorTech] Witty Sayings..... - GmoffettLtTouch