[sac-board] Re: SAC Handout for 2007
- From: Tom Polakis <tpolakis@xxxxxxx>
- To: sac-board@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2006 13:30:03 -0500
Paul,
Thanks for putting together the handout. I have a few comments, all of which
would be easy to change.
=========
"Being a member of an astronomy club brings many benefits by bringing together
people..."
Two "brings" in one sentence. How about, "Being a member of an astronomy club
offers many benefits by bringing together people..."
========
"SAC members meet about every four weeks for both general meetings and star
parties, and regularly conducts and supports public programs on astronomy."
"Members is plural" so you have to change the verbs to "conduct" and "support"
or better yet, two sentences: "...and star parties. SAC regularly conducts
and supports..." Also, "monthly" may not be exactly correct, but it's far
easier to read than "about every four weeks".
=======
"...normally holds two meetings each month. One meeting is a lecture meeting
while the other..."
Two "meetings" in one sentence. Maybe change it by using a semi-colon to:
"normally holds two meetings each month: one is a lecture meeting, while the
other..."
==========
"...also sponsors awards for those observing all objects on various observing
lists."
This is picky, but an improvement might be: "...for those who observe all
objects on various lists."
=======
"SAC meets on Friday's nearest the Full Moon..."
There's a superfluous apostrophe in there, and "nearest the" is awkward. "SAC
meets on Fridays nearest to the Full Moon..."
=======
Finally, it would be very helpful if the directions explicitly stated 33rd
Avenue. Unfortunately, GCU's map is difficult to read at this scale. I
know... 3300 W. Camelback is good enough, but folks like the confirmation of
seeing the name of the street they're turning onto.
Tom
---- Paul Dickson <paul@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> I have created a new SAC handout for 2007. This is for leaving on the
> counters at astronomy shops and for public events.
>
> I dropped the Snail-mail request, but added a second page (the back of a
> 2-sided page). Color printing of this handout would be nice.
>
> Please check my grammar and see if it makes sense. Also verify the dates.
>
> http://members.cox.net/paul.dickson/sac-handout.pdf
>
> -Paul
>
>
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- From: Paul Dickson