[rodgersorgan] Notes from Tennessee


Ya'll Know Yours Is A Redneck Church If ...

   1.  The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a 
chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
   2.  People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two 
fish 
were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
   3.  When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the 
offering," and five guys and two women stand up.
   4.  Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
   5.  A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck 
because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
   6.  The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."
   7.  Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.
   8.  In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the 
church directory.
   9.  Baptism is referred to as "branding."
10.  There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
11.   Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
12.   High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
13.   People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
14.   The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub.
15.   The choir robes were donated by and embroidered with the logo from Billy 
Bob's Barbecue.
16.   The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.



-- 
noel jones, aago
athens, tennessee, usa
423 887-7594
-------------------------------
frog music press, publishing MIDI music
moderator, rodgers organ users group
at www.frogmusic.com

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