[projectaon] Re: Republications?
- From: Timothy Pederick <pederick@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 26 Jan 2010 02:32:29 +0800
And here they are. I was even sensible enough to grab an SVN copy and check
that (or the test versions) for each of these!
(??) 02fotw kaiwisdm: to the Hammerdal -> to Hammerdal
(??) 02fotw 6: post A little -> post. A little
(??) 02fotw 37: West Bank Walk -> East Bank Walk [tp: Just a possibility;
you are west of the River Dorn at this stage, though not on its banks. The
street doesn't go to the river banks, either; section 323 strongly implies
that it ends and becomes Lookout Street. I'm not sure what else the street
name could be referring to. A bank of the financial kind?]
(??) 02fotw 79: there is much preparation for -> there is much to prepare
for [tp: As per section 123]
(??) 02fotw 86: Westbank Wharf -> Eastbank Wharf [tp: This one's more
certain: the geography clearly indicates that you are on the east bank of
the River Dorn at this stage. While we're at it, should we standardise X
Bank vs. Xbank?]
(??) 02fotw 242: they are determined to destroy you before you reach Durenor
-> [tp: Umm, you're already in Durenor... perhaps "reach Sommerlund" or
"Holmgard"? Or "they were determined"? Or simply "the Darklords are bent on
thwarting your quest", as per section 79?]
(ft) 02fotw 289: [tp: it's entirely possible to get here without the Seal,
e.g. 4 -> 342 -> 56 -> 143 -> 289. Perhaps a footnote, pointing this out and
recommending that you simply turn to 186 if you do not have the Seal.]
(??) 02fotw 298: points from Your -> points from your
(ft) 02fotw 298: [tp: In section 189, you both tumble down the stairs before
the combat; therefore the footnote is unnecessary.]
(er) 04tcod map.png: MAAKEN MINER -> MAAKEN MINES [tp: Also, am I the only
person that cares that Sommerlund doesn't actually "
(ne) 04tcod errata: Replaced ‘despatched’ with ‘dispatched’. -> Replaced
‘despatches’ with ‘dispatches’.
(ne) 04tcod errata: Replaced ‘make you’ with ‘make you’. -> Replaced ‘make
you’ with ‘makes you’.
(??) 09tcof 24: brotherhood -> Brotherhood
(??) 09tcof 74: brotherhood -> Brotherhood
(??) 19wb map: Fort Durnspa, to the northeast -> Fort Durnspa, to the
northwest [tp: Also, the bearings to Toran and Anskavern seem inaccurate.
Holmgard to Toran is more northerly than Holmgard to Anskavern, yet the
former is called "northwest" and the latter, "north by northeast".]
(ft) 19wb 35: If you have ever visited the Graveyard of the Ancients -> [tp:
You may have entered the Graveyard without encountering the Crypt Spawn
mentioned in the next section (s.182). Okay, so that's a very detailed piece
of trivia to expect players to remember -- worse even than knowing if they
met Prarg at Cetza, I think -- but it may still be worth footnoting, here or
in section 182; it does no harm for the player to be mistaken either way.]
(??) 19wb 61: and have attained the rank of Grand Crown -> [tp: It is
unnecessary to check your rank; you must be a Grand Crown to have reached
this section.]
(??) 19wb 99: reproachfully -> ruefully [tp: To me, at least,
"reproachfully" implies reproach for those to whom you're speaking, not for
yourself as is clearly meant here. Same goes for the parallel sections 154
and 223... any others?]
(??) 19wb 178: [tp: You used Animal Mastery, not Animal Control, to get
here.]
(??) 21votm 150: After having heard her story and satisfied yourself ->
After you have heard her story and satisfied yourself [tp: While I get the
grammatical intent -- "...having heard ... and [having] satisfied..." -- I
find it very awkward. It reads like "satisfied" parallels "having" and so
they seem mismatched. And "After having heard" is also troublesome; in fact
I think it might even be the source of my unease with this sentence, as
"Having heard... and satisfied..." reads much better to me.]
(??) 21votm toc: The Central Route -> The Coastal Route [tp: likewise for
map and maplarge]
(??) 21votm 225: Nexus and curing -> Nexus and Curing
(??) 27v map: dissecting -> bisecting
(??) 01gstw equipmnt: Carried in -> carried in [tp: None of the others start
with a capital after the dash.]
Oh, and I've found some problems with the time frames the text describes in
02fotw, but perhaps fixing that would be overstepping our mandate...
--
Tim Pederick
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