[projectaon] Re: Grand Master comment period [Book 13]

On 10/04/2012 00:15, Jonathan Blake wrote:

On Fri, Apr 6, 2012 at 4:19 PM, Jonathan Blake<jonathan@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>  wrote:


I'll work on putting together
some diffs for the GM books soon.


Done.

http://projectaon.org/staff/jonathan/diffs/


BOOK 13:

(er) 22: scrabbling his throat -> scrabbling at his throat
(er) 35, 153, 201: A patrol of six Vazhag file into the cavern [so: Should this be "...files..."?]
(er) 50: plague virus, and its vaccine, are being -> plague virus and its vaccine are being 

(ne) 71: hurtle through air -> hurtle through the air
(er) 111: A vast procession of partially-clad soldiers are being -> [so: "...is being..."?]
(er) 185: spell--Lightning Hand--as -> spell <spell>Lightning Hand</spell> as
(er) 191: The chain glances your [so: Should this be "glances off your"? If so, this has a knock-on effect to other instances where it is used in this way.] 

(er) 260: Palmyrion plain -> Palmyrion Plain

(ne) 284: [so: Lose the comma before the ellipsis.]
(er) 284: [so: Revise the options layout as per recent discussion regarding Book 8.] 

(er) 290: Another curse, and -> He speaks another curse, and [so: Maybe.]

(er) 324: forearm and -> forearm, and [so: Serial comma?]
You might also want to do a search in 13tplor for instances of ", and" since there might be a few occasions where the comma could be lost, going by recent adjustments to comma usage. 


--
Simon Osborne
Project Aon

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