[projectaon] Errors: <onomatopoeia>
- From: Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: Project Aon <projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 04 Oct 2008 10:47:10 +0100
Hi
Another batch, this one focusing on onomatopoeic words. Basically, each of
these issues is about
whether a sound-word should be italicised in the text or not. To be able to
either implement or
reject these, removing them from the lists of Errata, will be most useful.
Bear in mind that although this list appears to be very long, most of the
issues are very similar,
so a decision for one item should easily relate to other outstanding items
further down the list.
And although these only refer to LW21-28, the responses to this list can easily
be extrapolated for
the other Books 1-20, FW1-4, and GS1-4. In truth, I would expect the majority
of these issues to be
rejected, setting very useful precedents.
(Individual words covered: clangs, thuds, clicks, buzz, click, thud, clang, whooshes, clanging,
scrunch.)
----------
(er) 21votm:179: clangs
[SD: Don't think this is supposed to be onomatopoeic. Onomatopoeic words
usually preceded by a
descriptive word: thunderous, tremendous, discordant, etc.]
-> "...a bell in a nearby tower clangs five times."
(er) 21votm:264: thuds
-> "You comply and it thuds into the soft earth near his feet."
(er) 22tbos:59, 125, 286, 337: clicks [onomatopoeia]
-> "...the panel automatically clicks shut behind you."
-> "...the panel automatically clicks shut behind you."
-> "...the panel automatically clicks shut behind you."
-> "The lock clicks open, but only after..."
(er) 23mh:4: clicks [onomatopoeia]
-> "Your skill and persistence finally pay off when the lock clicks open."
(er) 23mh:101: buzz <onomatopoeia>
-> "...the groans of wounded crewmen and the crackling buzz of electrical
arcing."
(er) 23mh:113, 306: click [onomatopoeia]
-> "After a few moments you hear them begin to click over."
-> "After a few moments you hear them begin to click over."
(er) 24rw:22, 170: click [onomatopoeia]
-> "...you hear the heavy locking mechanism click open"
-> "When you hear it click, you are so relieved..."
(er) 24rw:45, 76, 86, 203, 296, 335: thud [onomatopoeia]
-> "The door shuts behind you with a dull thud and you hear a key turning in the
lock."
-> "The door shuts behind you with a dull thud and you hear a key turning in the
lock."
-> "The door shuts behind you with a dull thud and you hear a key turning in the
lock."
-> "The door shuts behind you with a dull thud and you hear a key turning in the
lock."
-> "The door shuts behind you with a dull thud and you hear a key turning in the
lock."
-> "The door shuts behind you with a dull thud and you hear a key turning in the
lock."
(er) 24rw:268: thuds [onomatopoeia]
-> "One...thuds into the gunwale within a hand's breadth of your head..."
(er) 24rw:337: clicks [onomatopoeia]
-> "You bring your Mastery of Grand Nexus into play and the lock readily clicks
open."
(er) 25totw:12, 105: clicks [onomatopoeia]
-> "The dial clicks into its correct position..."
-> "When the dial clicks into position..."
(er) 25totw:30, 95: clang [onomatopoeia]
-> "Suddenly you hear the monotonous clang of an alarm bell..."
-> "Suddenly you hear the monotonous clang of an alarm bell..."
(er) 25totw92: thuds [onomatopoeia]
-> "Your Arrow thuds into the creature's chest, knocking it to the floor."
(er) 25totw:187: thud [onomatopoeia]
[SD: "Thud" probably not onomatopoeic, (at least, not in any of the previous
books in the series...
unless I've missed something)]
-> "It hits the unyielding stone with a sickening thud, and slumps to the floor in a
broken heap."
(er) 26tfobm:58, 254: thud [onomatopoeia]
-> "Arrows thud into the ground as you scramble to his side and attempt to drag him
free."
-> "Arrows thud into the ground as you hurry to his side and attempt to drag him
free..."
(er) 26tfobm:79, 99: clicks [onomatopoeia]
-> "It clicks down and a secret panel in the wall slides open to reveal a narrow
passage."
-> "The lever clicks down and a secret panel in the wall slides open to reveal a
narrow passage."
(er) 26tfobm:123, 132, 213, 231, 312: click [onomatopoeia]
-> "When you depress the final button, you hear the locking mechanism click
open..."
-> "When you depress the final button, you hear the locking mechanism click
open..."
-> "When you depress the final button, you hear the locking mechanism click
open..."
-> "When you depress the final button, you hear the locking mechanism click
open..."
-> "When you depress the final button, you hear the locking mechanism click
open..."
(er) 26tfobm:123, 132, 213, 231, 312: clang [onomatopoeia]
-> "...you hear the dull clang of an alarm bell echoing along the tunnel."
-> "...you hear the dull clang of an alarm bell echoing along the tunnel."
-> "...you hear the dull clang of an alarm bell echoing along the tunnel."
-> "...you hear the dull clang of an alarm bell echoing along the tunnel."
-> "...you hear the dull clang of an alarm bell echoing along the tunnel."
(er) 26tfobm:141, 279, 291: whooshes [onomatopoeia]
-> "...as it whooshes past and explodes among the treasures stored in this
chamber."
-> "...as it whooshes past and explodes among the treasures stored here."
-> "...as it whooshes past and explodes among the treasures stored here."
(er) 26tfobm:166: whoosh [onomatopoeia]
-> "You hear a sudden whoosh of escaping gas..."
(er) 26tfobm:175, 289: wooshes -> whooshes [also: onomatopoeia (er)]
-> "As his deadly missile wooshes past within inches of your scalp..."
-> "...it wooshes past within inches of your scalp."
(er) 27v:196: clanging [onomatopoeia]
-> "Above the clanging of the alarm bell, you hear a gruff command to halt."
(er) 27v:246: clicks [onomatopoeia]
-> "The third tumbler clicks into the correct position..."
(er) 28thos:201: thuds [onomatopoeia]
-> "A barbed arrow thuds into the back of your right thigh..."
----------
(er) 02smr:141: scrunch [onomatopoeia] [??]
-> "The shattered remains scrunch loudly beneath the soles of your boots..."
----------
Quite a lot, really--more than I'd anticipated. Most should be quite
straightforward, though, so I
thought I'd post the whole lot. Feel free to chop out parts you're not
commenting on when responding
to keep the mail down to a manageable length. ;-)
If it is very black-and-white as to what issues can be rejected, something like
"thuds: rejected"
can easily cover 10 or more separate issues listed above, and will help
enormously with the earlier
books.
--
Simon Osborne
Project Aon
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