[projectaon] Editor's Companion Submission

The following was sent from the Project Aon contact form
   From: Keith Sheldon <Relenoir@xxxxxxxx>
   Date: 02:57:58 on Thursday, July 29, 2004
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(er) 16tlov 39: six rounds, by turning -> six rounds by turning
(er) 16tlov 39: Magnakai curing skills -> Magnakai Curing skills
(er) 16tlov 33: swarthy-face villain -> swarthy-faced villain
(er) 16tlov 33: Magnakai skill of huntmastery -> Magnakai skill of Huntmastery
(er) 16tlov 32: plateau which is -> plateau that is [KS: *or* plateau, which is]
(er) 16tlov 31: prey on which -> prey with which
(er) 16tlov 29: 'You will not escape this time,' shouts Cadak, as if he has 
been reading your mind. 'Not while I am alive.' -> 'You will not escape this 
time!' shouts Cadak, as if he has been reading your mind. 'Not while I am 
alive!' [KS: Since he's shouting, shouldn't this be imperative?]
(er) 16tlov 29: second strike an umbrella  -> second strike, an umbrella 
(er) 16tlov 25: The brigands give chase but they soon lose you among the dense 
pines and they give up the pursuit. -> The brigands give chase but they soon 
lose you among the dense pines and give up the pursuit. [KS: No need to repeat 
the subject pronoun, IMO.]
(er) 16tlov 25: Rather than fight them you decide it better to escape whilst 
you still can and so you take to your heels, pausing only to snatch up the 
captain's satchel as you leave.  -> Rather than fight them, you decide it 
better to escape whilst you still can; you take to your heels, pausing only to 
snatch up the captain's satchel as you leave. [KS: Reads like a run-on 
sentence, although it may be fine grammatically.]
(er) 16tlov 23: your sixth sense,  -> your Sixth Sense, [KS: This Discipline 
was always capitalized in the earlier books.]
(er) 16tlov 21: city guard never patrol -> city guards never patrol
(er) 16tlov 21: open doorway and the -> open doorway, and the

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