[projectaon] Re: Editor's Companion Submission

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contact.portal@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx wrote:
| The following was sent from the Project Aon contact form
|    From: Keith Sheldon <Relenoir@xxxxxxxx>
|    Date: 18:51:21 on Tuesday, July 27, 2004
|
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| (er) 16tlov imprvdsc: kinds of surface, -> kinds of surfaces,

Disagreed. Only kind needs to be pluralised. One kind of surface, many
kinds of surface.

| (er) 16tlov cmbtrulz: reducing his ENDURANCE points -> reducing its
ENDURANCE points [KS: Encompasses female opponents as well as creatures
of unknown gender.]

Seems a bit PC for my tastes. ;) "His" is (or was, before the PC police
attacked the language) an acceptable pronoun for nonspecific genders.

| (??) 16tlov discplnz: Grand Defender, with which you -> Grand
Defender, at which you [KS: "With" makes the rank sound like a
possession, "at" might not be the best answer, but sounds more appropriate.]

It's common for ranks, Disciplines, etc. to be referred to like
possessions. I think it's just a quirk of Joe Dever's style, not
necessarily something to correct.

| (er) 16tlov equipmnt: Magador you take -> Magador, you take
| (er) 16tlov discplnz: hearing, smell and night vision. -> hearing,
smell, and night vision [KS: Comma for last item in a list before "and"?]
| (er) 16tlov tssf: vigilant for he fears -> vigilant, for he fears
| (er) 16tlov tssf: Dark God and rarely -> Dark God, and rarely

Disagree with these commas.

- --
Tim Pederick
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