[pr0k] Salvation Army compilation!

  • From: Nicholas Stephens <Nicholas@xxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: pr0k@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Tue, 2 Jul 2002 18:35:45 +0100


"God Loves Moses, God Loves Me" 

My Salvation Army song

An Ode to Moses

Verse 1

Chained up smashing mortar
for our cruel rulers!
The only one whould could save us
sailed away in a wicker boat!
We toil all day
and are beaten all night!
We never eat any food...
All our wives are whores and are
children suckle on the nipple of Sin!

MOSES!
THE MAN WHO COMMANDS THE SEA!
MOSES!
RIDING IN ON SEVEN SEALS!

He rips our homes assunder
in a vigour of righteous woe!
He frees us from our bindings
and gives us legs to walk!
We take our chains, kill our guards
and rip off their fucking hands!
We'll paint our doors with their blood
so the angel of death understands!

MOSES!
THE MAN WHO COMMANDS THE SEA!
MOSES!
THE MAN WHO COMMANDS YOU AND ME!
MOSES!
HE HATES THEREFOR HE IS!
MOSES!
HE RIPS, TEARS AND SHREDS!

Moses, we're sorry for putting you in a boat.
All this angst has turned you into a righteous babe!






"Job, Do As I Fucking Say" (sing to "can I play with madness" by iron
maiden) 

I AM A RUTHLESS GOD, YEAH!  *whoo*

An island of unbelievers, somewhere in the sea!
I send my follower Job there, to spread tales of my infamy!
They worship dog heads on sticks entwinned with cat gut wool and coal!
If they don't believe I am real, IT IS THEM THAT I WILL KILL!

"Job, tell them I will kill them."
God kicked him in the balls!
"Job, tell them I will kill them."
They didn't understand at all!
"Job, tell them I will kill them."
They looked at Job and laughed at him!
"Job, tell them I will kill them."
He said, "I'm blind like Freddy Mercury!"

OOooOOOOoooh, like Freddy Mercury, yeahmmmmmmmm!

I screamed loud to the old man, I said "What the fuck is this shit?"
"You kill these people because they think for themselves and don't live like
sheep in the herd?"
"That's the kind of stunt George Bush Jr would pull with finger on the
button of red!"
"These people are innocent believers in society and do not deserve to be
crushed under the iron fist!"

"Job, tell them I will kill them."
God kicked him in the balls!
"Job, tell them I will kill them."
They didn't understand at all!
"Job, tell them I will kill them."
They looked at Job and laughed at him!
"Job, tell them I will kill them."
He said, "I'm blind like Freddy Mercury!"

"OOOoooooooooOOOOOOOOOh listen to
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAA
ARGH!"

*MAD SOLO*

"Job, tell them I will kill them."
God kicked him in the balls!
"Job, tell them I will kill them."
They didn't understand at all!
"Job, tell them I will kill them."
They looked at Job and laughed at him!
"Job, tell them I will kill them."
He said, "I'm blind like Freddy Mercury!"

"Job, tell them I will kill them!"






"Dinosaurs" (in the style of Gwar) 

DINOSAURS!
DINOSAURS!
The dinosaurs ruled their lives,
Those fang-ed creatures of evviiilll!
"What shall we do?" cried the people
Their sticks couldn't kill
The reptilian evil of PAAAIN.

GOD IS HERE!
GOD IS HERE!
WATCH HIM STRANGLE THE DINOSAURS!
GOD IS HERE!
GOD IS HERE!
WATCH HIM STAB THEIR TINY EYES!

DINOSAURS!
DINOSAURS!
God was happy he had killed
His mistakes which once ruled supreme
But all that killing made him hunger
Hunger to kill again.
Hunger to kill AGAAAAAIIN.

GOD IS HERE!
GOD IS HERE!
WATCH HIM BURN THE PEOPLE WITH FIRE!
GOD IS HERE!
GOD IS HERE!
WATCH HIM PISS IN THEIR EYES!

GOD. IS. SAAAATAAAAAAAANNNNN. (grunted through comedy masks)





"Noah, You Are Our Saviour From the Rain!" 

They're riding on hills on horses of bone,
crushing and eveloping everyone
who is unfortunate and who is slain
by the goliath sword of Noah!
Noah sits in his golden chair,
and only lets on the animals he likes.
"I decree", he says menacingly, "THAT YOU WERE BORN TO DIE!"

NOAH HATES THE OCELOT AND NOAH HATES THE SHARK!
NOAH HATES THE PEDEGREE HOUND AND NOAH HATES THE FUCKING ARK!

"I'm stuck on this boat for a century!", he cries into his drink.
The alcohol in his system causes his brain to shake.
He takes the wheel of his ark of oak and steers it into a wave!
The wave had the face of a demon and it smashed the boat to bits!
Noah sinks with his fists clenched tightly around a sea cucumber.
He inflates it with a deep breathe and rises to the surface through a
mastery of physics!

NOAH COMMANDS PHYSICS!
HE IS THE PHYSICS GOD!
NOAH SHITS ON EINTSTEIN!
HE IS THE LORD OF ENERGY!

Noah hits the surface with a bang and inhales a mournfull breath.
He's sobered up completely and the animals are completely dead.
The corpses float around him, and Noah gives a sigh.
It was a case of alcohol that caused the world to die!
But God took pity on this worthless soul, and breathed life into the dead.
And they rose as hungry zombies and bit off Noah's head.
The dogs and cats and birds and bees all swimming through the salty seas
hunt out the remaining human survivors to bring them to their knees!

NOAH!  KILLED BY ZOMBIE BEES!
NOAH!  KILLED BY ZOMBIE DOGS!
ZOMBIE ANIMALS WILL KILL YOU AND ME!
ZOMBIE ANIMALS COMING FROM THE SEA!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAA zombie animals live...

...FOR-EV-ER!




"Garden of Light" 


In the Garden of light, purity flows,
A utopian bliss, no fear - no pain,
Too good to be true, a mirage for sure,
Bitter corruption lies waiting to maim!

GARDEN OF LIGHT! GARDEN OF LIGHT!
IT'S FUCKING SHITE IN THE GARDEN OF LIGHT!
CAN'T TRUST LOVE! CAN'T TRUST YOURSELF!
YOU'LL ONLY FIND SORROW IN THE GARDEN TONIGHT!

Adam the sheep and Eve the whore,
Lured by their greed and serpents forked tongue,
Ate of the sin, the poison within,
The forbidden fruit, it's praises were sung,

NRRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHH! Their God raged and smashed their bones!
Their blood spraying on the jagged stones!

Of the deserted land where their corpses were cast.

JAGGED STONES! JAGGED STONES!
DON'T MESS WITH THE LORD, HE'LL FUCK YOU UP!
HE'LL MELT YOUR KNEES AND SPIKE YOUR LUNGS!
NEVER AGAIN THE GARDEN OF LIGHT!

NEVER AGAIN THE GARDEN OF LIGHT!

NEVER AGAIN THE GARDEN OF LIGHT!





(Untitled) 


Stand on a pole day and night!
Waiting like a bat to pounce and take flight!
DAVID BLAINE - aaah!
DAVID BLAINE - aaah!

Encased in ice like a crystal God!
Pissing through a catheter on his tod!
DAVID BLAINE - aaah!
DAVID BLAINE - aaah!

Devil child of Copperfield
Bleeding eyes and playing cards
Watching him strangle dinosaurs!
Watching him KILL HIS OWN GOD

*solo*

Buried alive in a clear plastic box
Posing as a sailor on empty docks!
DAVID BLAINE - aaah!
DAVID BLAINE - aaah!

Confusing Eammon Holmes on GMTV
His EVIL EYE for everyone to see!
DAVID BLAINE - aaah!
DAVID BLAINE - aaah!
DA - VID - PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNNNN

*smash up guitars*




"Gut Crusher"


Devouring the land, devouring the people,
Nothing can stop this great force of evil,
Crushing all before him, eating those in his path,
He cannot be stopped... feel his wrath!

DAVID MAY! Corned beef attacks!
DAVID MAY! Behemoth of pain!

DAVID MAY! Get out of his way!
DAVID MAY! Sex machiiiiiinnnneeee!





"Gareth Loves The Cock" 

Hold on...
Hoo-oold oooo-oooon...
To your balls when Gareth is around...

He'll put it in your ass!
He'll put it in your ass!
For Jebediah the Terrible, he'll put it in your ass!

Where's a burning bush when you need one?
YEAH!

*cheesy solo outro*



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