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http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/2_4.html
HE LAWYER INTERPRETS THE PHYSICIST... JOKES

1. Conservation of Energy - the total energy (i.e. the sum of potential and
kinetic energy) of a closed system doesnt change under the influence of
conservative forces. Closed means that the system doesnt exchange matter
with its environment.

<A lawyer should never transform potential to kinetic energy without the
appropriate safeguards for payment of attorney's fees. The law firm is a
closed system too, determined by conservative forces in that - in a law
firm you NEVER change the established rule that :"Once the client sits down
in front of you, the clock starts ticking and so does billing time." Try
changing that and YOU GET FIRED !>

2. Conservation of Momentum - momentum is the product of mass and
velocity. As energy is related to time, momentum is to space.

<Mass and velocity - the more cases you have, the faster you must work or
you lose all of them, including your job. Energy is related to time in that
you have more energy before your court hearings in the morning, and
depletion usually occurs in the afternoon or when the coffeemaker suddenly
churns out decaf.>

3. Newton's First Law - a body on which no forces are acting will continue
in its state of motion. This means it will stay at rest, if it has been
resting initially, or will move in a straight line at constant
speed. Moving straight or being at rest is physically equivalent.

<If a Partner is not watching, lawyers will continue chit-chatting or just
stay idle behind their desks. But once a Partner appears, they start
walking in a straight line, at constant speed back to their rooms.....>


4. Heisenberg's uncertainty principle - the more precise you measure where
a thing is, the smaller is your knowledge about its velocity and vice-versa

<a criminal can defy all laws of gravity, in fact, his flight can be faster
than the speed of light.... you switch on the light, and he suddenly
disappears...and he was there awhile ago !!! no physicist would want to
measure his velocity...wanna get killed while measuring ????>


5. Quantum Zenon effect - you can keep a system from changing by repeatedly
measuring the state of the system

<if you keep annoying the judge, you are liable to be cited for
contempt. But UNLIKE quantum zenon effect, the system can REALLY
change.....you can end up in jail and no amount of physics will save you,
better post bail, honey>

6. Theory of Relativity - E= mc^2

<in legal terms it just means ---> Energy = mass of clients (squared, or
the more the merrier...the more energy you have :) OR

Energy = mass of money of clients, squared or otherwise.


7. Principle of General Relativity - one cannot distinguish between gravity
and acceleration....so for example in a case of free fall, you feel
weightless because the effects of gravity and downward acceleration just
cancel.


<sometimes you want to stand up, but when you see your calendar of
deadlines, you sit down again (gravity)...then when the Partner calls you
to report on the status of the case at the upper floor, it seems the
elevator just wont move and seems to want to stay at your floor....then
voila ! it happens.... the great theory of general relativity - if you
havent done your assignments on time, you fall into irreparable
embarrassment, you just fall.....fall....fall.....deeper and deeper...your
status in the law firm cant accelerate any faster...you just go with
gravity - down, down, down...


This gravity thing should be repealed ! LOL

Terima Kasih.
-- 
Menur 29A Surabaya 60116
031-5941153 08155158070
http://asia.profiles.yahoo.com/hasta_purnama

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