-=PCTechTalk=- Re: Fw: BRITISH REVOKE USA INDEPENDENCE

OK, lets drop this one now.  I think everyone's made their feelings clear.
   Regards from

 Bob -- the "Keyboard Cowboy",
           ,,,,,,,,
          Ô¿Ô¬
    Cincinnati, Ohio
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 ==========<[0]>===========
 Sunday  8/27/2006  9:49:43 PM

 I was surprised when I started getting old.  I always thought it was one of 
those things that would happen to someone else.

 --  George Carlin


==========<[O]>==========

On Sun, 27 Aug 2006 23:47:43 -0400, ms24 wrote:

|  Dear Lil:
|
|  With the world in the state that it's in, I feel it was in very
|  poor taste. This is not supposed to be a political forum and if
|  someone thinks that was a "joke", they can only do so if they are
|  completely insane. To me it was blatantly sick humor.
|
|  Emma
|  ms24@xxxxxxxxxxx
|
|  -----Original Message-----
|  From: pctechtalk-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
|  [mailto:pctechtalk-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of L. Cruz
|  Sent: Friday, August 25, 2006 2:59 PM To: pctechtalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
|  Subject: -=PCTechTalk=- Re: Fw: BRITISH REVOKE USA INDEPENDENCE
|
|  One needs to have sense of humour (not humor...) to understand
|  jokes and not
|
|  take what is said literally :o))
|  Lil
|
|  ----- Original Message -----
|  From: "ms24" <ms24@xxxxxxxxxxx>
|  To: <pctechtalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
|  Sent: Thursday, August 24, 2006 10:23 PM
|  Subject: -=PCTechTalk=- Re: Fw: BRITISH REVOKE USA INDEPENDENCE
|
|
|  Some people have no couth and insist on proving it.
|  Just another "Lib".
|  Which those of us born on the planer Earth know as "things" that
|  should be institutionalized for their mental disorder.
|
|  Emma
|  ms24@xxxxxxxxxxx
|
|  -----Original Message-----
|  From: pctechtalk-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
|  [mailto:pctechtalk-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Mary Lou
|  Sent: Thursday, August 24, 2006 4:26 PM To:
|  pctechtalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
|  Subject: -=PCTechTalk=- Re: Fw: BRITISH REVOKE USA INDEPENDENCE
|
|  ummmm before I get another headache...just WHO is this John
|  Cleese...and why
|
|  did it take ANY one so long to come to this conclusion?? Could it
|  be their lordships were in left field in one of those cosmic
|  circles all this time?? giggle.. or are they just jealous..uh
|  hum...snorp.....smackle ----- Original Message ----- From: "Joyce
|  McClure" <jmcclure@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> To:
| <pctechtalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> Sent: Thursday, August 24, 2006 12:13 PM
|  Subject: -=PCTechTalk=- Re: Fw: BRITISH REVOKE USA INDEPENDENCE
|
|
|  Well---This Kansan is monumentally offended!! :-)  Actually we
|  like to be ignored and do nothing to change the image! Joyce -----
|  Original Message ----- From: "Lionel" <percy10@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
|  To: "PC-TechTalk" <pctechtalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> Sent: Thursday,
|  August 24, 2006 8:47 AM
|  Subject: -=PCTechTalk=- Fw: BRITISH REVOKE USA INDEPENDENCE
|
|
| |  Sent: Thursday, August 24, 2006 5:09 PM
| |  Subject: Fw: BRITISH REVOKE USA INDEPENDENCE
| |
| |  A Message from John Cleese to the citizens of the
| |  United States of America
| |
| |
| |  *
| |  In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the
| |  USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the
| |  revocation of your independence, effective immediately.*
| |
| |  *
| |  Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume
| |  monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and
| |  territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).*
| |
| |  *
| |  Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor
| |  for America without the need for further elections. Congress
| |  and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be
| |  circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.*
| |
| |  *
| |  To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the
| |  following rules are introduced with immediate effect:* *
| |  1 You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English
| |  Dictionary.    Then look up aluminum, and check the
| |  pronunciation guide. * *You will  be amazed at just how wrongly
| |  you have been pronouncing it.*
| |
| |  *
| |  2 The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour'
| |  and 'neighbour'. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut'
| |  without skipping half the letters, and the suffix "ize" will be
| |  replaced by the suffix "ise".*
| |
| |  *
| |  3 Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to
| |  acceptable levels, (look up vocabulary).*
| |
| |  *
| |  4 Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler
| |  noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and
| |  inefficient form of communication.*
| |
| |  *
| |  5 There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft
| |  know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be
| |  adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the
| |  elimination of "ize".*
| |
| |  *
| |  6 You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save the
| |  Queen.   July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.*
| |
| |  *
| |  7 You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,
| |  lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers
| |  and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be
| |  independent.*
| |
| |  *
| |  8 Guns should only be handled by adults If you're not adult
| |  enough to sort things out without suing someone, or speaking to
| |  a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.*
| |
| |  *
| |  9 Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry
| |  anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will
| |  be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.*
| |
| |  *
| |  10 All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this
| |  is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will
| |  understand what we mean.*
| |
| |  *
| |  11 All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you
| |  will start driving on the left with immediate effect.*
| |
| |  *
| |  12 At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect
| |  and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts
| |  and metrication will help you understand the British sense of
| |  humour.* *
| |  13 The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you
| |  have been calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to
| |  it.*
| |
| |  *
| |  14 You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call
| |  French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on
| |  calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are
| |  thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but
| |  with vinegar.*
| |
| |  *
| |  15 The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not
| |  actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter
| |  will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and
| |  accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. American
| |  brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that
| |  all can be sold without risk of further confusion.*
| |
| |  *
| |  16 Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English
| |  actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast
| |  English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie
| |  MacDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a
| |  Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed
| |  with a cheese grater.* *
| |  17 You will cease playing American football. There is only one
| |  kind of proper football; you call it soccer.Those of you brave
| |  enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some
| |  similarities to American football, but does not involve
| |  stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar
| |  body armour like a bunch of nancies).*
| |
| |  *
| |  18 Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not
| |  reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game
| |  which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you
| |  are aware that there is world beyond your borders, your error
| |  is understandable.*
| |
| |  *
| |  19 You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.*
| |
| |  *
| |  An internal revenue agent (i.e.tax collector) from Her
| |  Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the
| |  acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).*
| |
| |
| |  --
| |  No virus found in this outgoing message.
| |  Checked by AVG Free Edition.
| |  Version: 7.0.405 / Virus Database: 268.11.3/423 - Release Date:
| |  8/18/2006
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