-=PCTechTalk=- Re: Fw: BRITISH REVOKE USA INDEPENDENCE

I never heard of him but knowing he's a comdiane explains it all.--NOW I can 
LOL...
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Tech Rose - LoveBytes" <TechRose@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <pctechtalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Thursday, August 24, 2006 11:29 PM
Subject: -=PCTechTalk=- Re: Fw: BRITISH REVOKE USA INDEPENDENCE


John Cleese is one of my favorite comedians......

He was part of the Monty Python group.  I have all their movies and also
bought the collection of their TV Series.  They are British.
I believe the TV Series was on in the '60's.  I believe they were in B & W
when I saw them.

They were big on outlandish humor....overstating the obvious... taking
things literally... and of course...tongue in cheek as is the Revocation
Notice.

Some folks might think they were stupid..and others hilarious.

I think my favorite all time jokes was one of theirs. it was about Joke
Warfare.

He was in A Fish Called Wanda, played a part in Will & Grace, Harry Potter &
The Sorcerer's Stone and The Chamber of Secrets, Rat Race and was the star
of the hit TV show - 3rd Rock from the Sun and many many more movies and
shows!

He also Wrote and produced many shows/movies including a Fish Named Wanda

Here is a link for info on this very talented man!
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000092/

You are probably sorry you ever asked that question... lol!

Have a happy...
Hugs,
Rose
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Mary Lou" <my2punkin@xxxxxxxxxxx>


ummmm before I get another headache...just WHO is this John Cleese...and why
did it take ANY one so long to come to this conclusion?? Could it be their
lordships were in left field in one of those cosmic circles all this time??
giggle.. or are they just jealous..uh hum...snorp.....smackle
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Joyce McClure" <jmcclure@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <pctechtalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Thursday, August 24, 2006 12:13 PM
Subject: -=PCTechTalk=- Re: Fw: BRITISH REVOKE USA INDEPENDENCE


Well---This Kansan is monumentally offended!! :-)  Actually we like to be
ignored and do nothing to change the image!
Joyce
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Lionel" <percy10@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>

> Sent: Thursday, August 24, 2006 5:09 PM
> Subject: Fw: BRITISH REVOKE USA INDEPENDENCE
>
> A Message from John Cleese to the citizens of the
> United States of America
>
>
>
> *
> In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA
> and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation
> of your independence, effective immediately.*
>
> *
> Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
> duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (excepting Kansas,
> which she does not fancy).*
>
> *
> Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for
> America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate
> will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to
> determine
> whether any of you noticed.*
>
> *
> To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the
> following rules are introduced with immediate effect:*
> *
> 1 You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English
> Dictionary.    Then look up aluminum, and check the pronunciation guide. *
> *You will  be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.*
>
> *
> 2 The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and
> 'neighbour'. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without
> skipping half the letters, and the suffix "ize" will be replaced
> by the suffix "ise".*
>
> *
> 3 Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to
> acceptable levels, (look up vocabulary).*
>
> *
> 4 Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler
> noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient
> form of communication.*
>
> *
> 5 There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know
> on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
> account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "ize".*
>
> *
> 6 You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save the
> Queen.   July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.*
>
> *
> 7 You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,
> lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and
> therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.*
>
> *
> 8 Guns should only be handled by adults If you're not adult
> enough to sort things out without suing someone, or speaking to a
> therapist
> then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.*
>
> *
> 9 Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry
> anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required
> if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.*
>
> *
> 10 All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is
> for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand
> what we mean.*
>
> *
> 11 All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you
> will start driving on the left with immediate effect.*
>
> *
> 12 At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and
> without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and
> metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.*
> *
> 13 The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have
> been calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.*
>
> *
> 14 You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call
> French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling
> potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick
> cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.*
>
> *
> 15 The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not
> actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be
> referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance
> will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be referred to as
> Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further
> confusion.*
>
> *
> 16 Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors
> as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors
> to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English
> dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having
> one's ears removed with a cheese grater.*
> *
> 17 You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind
> of proper football; you call it soccer.Those of you brave enough will,
> in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to
> American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty
> seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).*
>
> *
> 18 Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable
> to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not
> played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is
> world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.*
>
> *
> 19 You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.*
>
> *
> An internal revenue agent (i.e.tax collector) from Her Majesty's
> Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of
> all monies due (backdated to 1776).*


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