[opendtv] Re: Is TiVo the bully of DVR design? - patents

Want a laugh over the weekend? Check out this link..

http://www.freepatentsonline.com/crazy.html

I've heard that #6368227 - "Method of swinging on a swing" was filed
before the dot-com crash by a lawyer & his young son, to show him how to
file, and that the system is really broken.

It was around the same time that Amazon was awarded the "1-click
ordering" patent.

John Meehan
JVC

One of my all-time favorites is the Hyper Light Speed Antenna, US Patent 5714959:

http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO2&Sect2=HITOFF&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsearch-bool.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&co1=AND&d=PTXT&s1=%22hyper+light+speed+antenna%22&OS=

The so-called "inventor" discloses how to build such an antenna out of magnets, 22 gauge wire and a heat source capable of 1000 degrees F.

The opening few lines under "Background of the Invention" are hysterical. Don't the USPTO examiners even bother to read this stuff before they issue a patent? Also note the typo in the first sentence, where he meant to say "RF."

"The present invention has discovered the apparent existence of a new dimension capable of acting as a medium for RE signals. Initial benefits of penetrating this new dimension include sending RF signals faster than the speed of light, extending the effective distance of RF transmitters at the same power radiated, penetrating known RF shielding devices, and accelerating plant growth exposed to the by-product energy of the RF transmissions."

He later explains that the accelerated plant growth is due to the use of energy from the newly discovered dimension.

I'm surprised that Echo, DirecTV and government satellite users aren't deploying these things like crazy, to eliminate the annoyingly long speed-of-light time from geo orbit to the ground.  They could compete directly with cable on VOD (without requring local STB storage) & broadband internet by simply reducing the round trip RF transmission time to around zero. I'm also surprised we aren't using this amazing technology to have regular daily 2-way communications with intelligent civilizations in distant galaxies.

Maybe I'll file a patent on using 8-VSB modulation and Hyper Light Speed Antennas to allow 2-way HDTV broadcasting between intergalactic civilizations, via the use of another dimension. Who knows, maybe they have more interesting content to watch than we do. And even if their copyright laws are as onerous as ours, they would have a much tougher time enforcing them way back here on Earth.

-- Frank

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