[opendtv] Don't supersize me / Or: Why one discerning viewer refuses to part with his small but beloved television
- From: Monty Solomon <monty@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: undisclosed-recipient:;
- Date: Sun, 30 Jul 2006 02:02:59 -0400
Don't supersize me
Or: Why one discerning viewer refuses to part with his small but
beloved television
By Matthew Gilbert, Globe Staff | July 23, 2006
My editor recently queried me about my TV set. Because I'm the
Globe's TV critic, I think he expected to hear a lot of home-theater
geek-talk involving 50-something inches of plasma, a pounding,
hyperreal surround of sound, and cup holders on a sleek row of
viewing chairs. And now that Panasonic has loosed a 103-inch flat
screen upon the world and living rooms are morphing into multiplexes,
he had the right.
But I could only answer him with my best fake-smart face, which
involves raised eyebrows, a slight nod, and a neutral ``hmm." Because
I had absolutely no idea how much TV I actually owned. While I do
gawk covetously at the flashing walls of screens in department stores
(which always seem to use eye-tickling animation to seduce), I
haven't bought a new TV set in more than a decade. I believe I may
have christened my current box with an episode of ``Melrose Place."
And it was during the pre-Locklear era, so we're talking the early
1990s. Back when VHS was relevant.
My TV is the size of a large throw pillow, and it's as fat as last
year's Kirstie Alley. It protrudes from both the front and the back
of its wooden table, and it refuses to blend in with the pictures on
the walls. With a pair of chintzy, trebly stereo speakers popping
like dormers from its plastic sides, my TV takes an equal-opportunity
approach to the aural experience. That means it makes a Steven
Spielberg or Ridley Scott movie sound as magical as, say, Brookline
Access Television.
For the record, I dug out my elusive tape measure and learned that my
TV screen is but a mere 20 inches. My only nod to TV tech has been a
humming TiVo machine, my TV's loyal sidekick, the Robin to its
Batman, the Randy to its Earl, which enables me to remove my TV IV on
occasion. As John Lennon might have said, ``Life is what happens to
you when you're busy setting your DVR."
I'm proud of my modest machine -- perversely so, some would say. I
love it the way it is. My trusty TV has become a matter of principle
to me, and I stubbornly resist buying all the bells and whistles, the
mighty hardware that makes bells clang deafeningly and whistles
pierce eardrums. I have no wish to run mistakenly for my own phone
when the counter-terrorism unit is bustling on ``24." I just don't
need to enter the high-tech awesomeness contest. And it's not because
I'm nostalgic, or old-school, or cheap, or lazy, or anti-Best Buy, or
anti-Tweeter. I'm just focused.
...
http://www.boston.com/ae/tv/articles/2006/07/23/dont_supersize_me/
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