[muglo] Bill Gates humour



At a recent (?) computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM
had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would
all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press
release stating If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would
all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you
    would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for
    no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close
    all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the 
windows
    before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept 
this.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would
    cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
    would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought
    "CarNT," but then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
    reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive
   - but it would only run on five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning
    lights would all be replaced by a single "general protection fault"
    warning light.

8. The airbag system would ask, "are you sure?" before deploying.

9. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, you car
    would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously
    lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the 
antenna.

10. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a
    deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even 
though
they
    neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would
    immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or
    more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the 
Justice
Department.

11. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to
   learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would
   operate in the same manner as the old car.

12. You'd have to press the "start" button to turn the engine off.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Barry Takayesu
Prestige Print & Graphics                        ph:  (519) 631-8800
9 Anderson Avenue                                 fax: (519) 631-6316
St.Thomas, Ontario, Canada  N5P 4A2     mailto:prestige.print@xxxxxxxxxxx
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