[mea] FRIDAY: Groaners

From: cheri.frazer@xxxxxxxxxx
To: mea@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Date: Fri, 27 Apr 2012 14:23:06 -0500
I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It?s syncing now.
 
When chemists die, they barium.
 
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned 
veteran.
 
I know a guy who?s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
 
How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
 
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.
 
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I?d never 
met herbivore.
 
I?m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can?t put it down.
 
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
 
They told me I had Type A blood , but it was a Type-O.
 
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
 
PMS jokes aren?t funny, period.
 
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there?s no pop quiz.
 
Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
 
I didn?t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
 
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
 
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she 
couldn?t control her pupils?
 
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
 
What does a clock do when it?s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
 
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
 
Broken pencils are pointless.
 
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
 
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
 
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
 
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
 
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
 
All the toilets in New York ?s police stations have been stolen. Police 
have nothing to go on.
 
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
 
Velcro - what a ripoff!
 
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
 
Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
 
Earthquake in Ottawa obviously government?s fault.
 
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I?m not so sure.
 
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
 
 
 


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[mea] FRIDAY: Groaners

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