[mea] Re: Are you ok with this sentence?

Hi Cheri,

 

"Burke tore a vertebral artery, which are located in the neck and supply
blood to the brainstem - the back part of the brain which controls
consciousness." 

Here's the solution - 'which' needs an antecedent, something it is
referencing.  It's not 'Burke' and it's not 'tore.'  It is 'a vertebral
artery.'  (You can't use words that are tucked away in your head, or it
makes you crazy). And you need to have agreement between the subject and its
verb - singular in this case. 'Supply' would have to become 'supplies' as
well if you stay with the singular. 'Vertebral arteries' have not been
introduced. If you want them in there, remove 'which'; replace it with a
period, and you can introduce the plural, vertebral arteries, required as
the subject of a plural verb.   

 

Barb J       

 

Barbara J. Becker, Editor

MEASURED WORDS second helpings

 <mailto:bjbecker@xxxxxxx> bjbecker@xxxxxxx

www.barbarajbecker.com

 

From: mea-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:mea-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf
Of cheri.frazer@xxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Thursday, January 12, 2012 5:29 PM
To: mea@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [mea] Re: Are you ok with this sentence?

 

That's a fun one! 

A correction (collection, with an accent) of editors 
A brace of editors 
A bracket of editors
A nitpick of editors 
A murder of editors (no, that's crows--or is it ravens? I think it's ravens)

Ha, a caret of editors! 

I think I need to go home.





From: 

Karen McElrea <karenmcelrea@xxxxxxxxxxx> 


To: 

<mea@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> 


Date: 

2012-01-12 05:19 PM 


Subject: 

[mea] Re: Are you ok with this sentence? 


Sent by: 

mea-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

  _____  




Well, yes, except the skier is in no position to be critical (that
particular usage always bugs me). As opposed to a gaggle of editors ... what
is the correct term for that, by the way? 

  _____  

Subject: [mea] Re: Are you ok with this sentence?
Date: Thu, 12 Jan 2012 17:08:25 -0600
From: Carl.DeGurse@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
To: mea@xxxxxxxxxxxxx

It's a "don't read me" headline.  Nothing new in this news story.  But it's
possible the headline writer was stuck topping a nothing-new story and
responsibly wrote a headline that is bland yet accurate. 
  
From: mea-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [ <mailto:mea-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
mailto:mea-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Karen McElrea
Sent: January-12-12 4:58 PM
To: mea@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [mea] Re: Are you ok with this sentence? 
  
Thanks, Arden -- what do we think about that headline, "Canadian skier Sarah
Burke still critical..."?

I think Cheri's solution is a good one (a double)! 

  _____  


Date: Thu, 12 Jan 2012 16:18:25 -0600
Subject: [mea] Re: Are you ok with this sentence?
From: acogg@xxxxxxx
To: mea@xxxxxxxxxxxxx 
Where's the like button, Karen? 
...Arden 
On Thu, Jan 12, 2012 at 4:04 PM, Karen McElrea <
<mailto:karenmcelrea@xxxxxxxxxxx> karenmcelrea@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote: 
  
I would object to a sentence of that construction, which I believe are
incorrect in any context. 
  

  _____  


To:  <mailto:mea@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> mea@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [mea] Are you ok with this sentence?
From:  <mailto:cheri.frazer@xxxxxxxxxx> cheri.frazer@xxxxxxxxxx
Date: Thu, 12 Jan 2012 15:32:53 -0600 


"Burke tore a vertebral artery, which are located in the neck and supply
blood to the brainstem - the back part of the brain which controls
consciousness." 

(From
<http://www.cbc.ca/sports/skiing/story/2012/01/12/sp-burke-skiing-injury.htm
l>
http://www.cbc.ca/sports/skiing/story/2012/01/12/sp-burke-skiing-injury.html
) 

Would you consider that construction perfectly ok, a colloquialism /
grammatical shortcut, or would you consider it wrong no matter what? 

Just curious. 
-C.


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