[lit-ideas] Re: hot Chinese housewives living in Uganda
- From: Robert Paul <robert.paul@xxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 23 Apr 2005 20:38:56 -0700
23 April 2005
Semul the Barbarian
The Law Firm of Semul, Laknar, and Frisch
Etc.
Dear Mr. Barbarian:
Your request to Professor Paul has landed on my desk as if I didn't have
enough to do already. If it weren't for people like you though there
would be no place in our firm for people like me, take this how you will.
I am sorry to have to reply to you with what is so obviously a form
letter that it is copyright under the Geneva Convention (all of them),
NORAD, NATO, AND GATT, but I must, so I will.
Professor Paul is out of the office. He has never been in the office. It
follows that he cannot RETURN to the office. There is no point in trying
to reach him through any means of communication, public or private, or
through print or electronic media. He does not read billboards. He does
not answer the telephone. The pollution caused by smoke signals is the
focus of his campaign to have them banned under the Environmental
Protection Act.
You should not infer from the fact that I know he is NOT HERE that I
know where he IS: elsewhere is a big place. He is gone, no forwarding.
May I depart from the text and say how personally outraged I am that you
Barbarians and Goths (of whatever stripe) are demanding what you
amusingly call your rights with respect to the largesse that Fortune has
rightfully bestowed on Professor Paul? If I had been (as I often dream
of being) the commander of a Roman Legion, there would, believe me, be
fewer Ostrogoths at large today.
Yours faithfully,
Elliott Dommage
Junior Clerk
Ausdrücke, Tatsache, and Kohl
Bellevue, Illinois
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