[lit-ideas] from life's little annoyances....
- From: Eric Yost <eyost1132@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 21 Dec 2005 09:37:32 -0500
True Tale #4: Shopping in the Shadow of "Big Brother"
The holidays are bearing down on you and that
means many of you are going to have to hit the big
box retailers, the boutiques, or worst of all -
the mall. Most of the time, shopping isn't
annoying for the money you have to fork over. It's
annoying for all the other things involved in the
transaction.
And yet opting out of commerce altogether is
tough. So you make the best of it and try to
hustle in, make your purchase, and hustle out. But
a few of you have found ingenious ways to thwart
the "Big Brother" retailers that try to track our
every purchase. Here's a great example
Woe be unto the cashier who dares to ask Jonathan
Wren for his name and personal information.
"They don't need this data," says the biology and
computer science research professor at the
University of Oklahoma. "And I don't see why they
have to request it." So he imposes an on-the-spot
spelling bee on the pesky sales clerk. The
exchange goes as follows:
"May I have your name?" the cashier asks.
"Ghossein Dhatsghabyfaird-Johnson," Wren replies.
The cashier glances in confusion before asking,
"How do you spell that?"
"With a hyphen," Wren clarifies.
"Once more?" the cashier asks.
"Ghossein Dhatsghabyfaird-Johnson." (Wren once had
a colleague whose name was Ghossein
Dhatsghabyfaird, and the "Johnson" is added for
good measure.)
"Could you please spell that?" the cashier asks,
glancing at the half dozen people waiting behind
Wren in line.
"Oh . . . just like it sounds," he says nonchalantly.
Typing in "Johnson," the cashier moves on and asks
for Wren's address.
"Washburn, Wisconsin, 14701 Northeast
Wachatanoobee Parkway, Complex 3, Building O,
Apartment 1382b," he replies. As the cashier is
almost done typing in the address, he adds, "Or
did you mean current address?"
Stopping, the cashier says with clear frustration,
"Yes. Current address."
"Diluthian Heights, Mississippi, 1372 South
Tinatonabee Avenue, Building 14C, Suite 2, Box
138201," Wren replies slowly.
The cashier types in the new address when Wren
suddenly interjects, "No, wait, it's North
Tinatonabee Avenue." Annoyed, the cashier backs up
the cursor and changes the line.
"I think," Wren mumbles with a quizzical look on
his face.
When he is feeling especially cruel, he takes the
game into overtime. Waiting until the cashier
asks, "Is all the information you gave correct?" a
standard question at many stores, he responds, "Of
course not," adding that his real name is on the
credit card receipt the cashier just handed him.
Wren says that he recognizes that it is not the
cashiers who set policy. The point, rather, is to
get managers to see that this information
gathering is backing up the line.
"It's a little mean, I must admit, but no jury
would convict me," he says.
Shopping isn't the only aggravation that pops up
during the holidays. We're taking a (very
unscientific) poll here at
LifesLittleAnnoyances.com. Click on the Two Cents
icon and tell us your biggest holiday gripe. If
you've done something clever to take the grief out
of the season of giving, share your story and look
for it here in a few weeks.
http://www.lifeslittleannoyances.com/node/118
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