[lit-ideas] Re: an interesting political idea

  • From: "Steven G. Cameron" <stevecam@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Fri, 10 Sep 2004 17:35:41 -0400

**Via my wife:

TC,

/Steve Cameron, NJ

 > This individual seeks an executive-level
 > position.
 >
 >
 > He will be available next January 2004, and is
 > willing to relocate, preferably within the US only.
 >
 >
 >
 > RESUME
 >
 > GEORGE W. BUSH
 > 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
 > Washington, DC 20520
 >
 >
 > EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE
 >
 > Law Enforcement:
 > - I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in
 > 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol.
 > - I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my
 > driver's license suspended for 30 days.
 > - My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is
 > not available.
 >
 > Military:
 > - I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went
 > AWOL.
 > - I refused to take a drug test or answer any
 > questions about my drug use.
 > - By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was
 > able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
 >
 > College:
 > - I graduated from Yale University with a low C
 > average.
 > - I was a cheerleader!
 >
 > PAST WORK EXPERIENCE
 >
 > - I ran for US Congress and lost.
 > - I began my career in the oil business in
 > Midland, Texas, in 1975.
 > - I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any
 > oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my
 > stock.
 > - I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a
 > sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
 > - With the help of my father and our friends in
 > the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor
 > of Texas.
 >
 > ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS
 >
 > - I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power
 > and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
 > During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden
 > city in America.
 > - I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury
 > to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
 > - I set the record for the most executions by
 > any governor in American history.
 > - With the help of my brother, the governor of
 > Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became
 > President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
 >
 > ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT
 >
 > - I am the first President in US history to
 > enter office with a criminal record.
 > - I invaded and occupied two countries at a
 > continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
 > - I spent the US surplus and effectively
 > bankrupted the US Treasury.
 > - I shattered the record for the largest annual
 > deficit in US history.
 > - I set an economic record for most private
 > bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
 > - I set the all-time record for most
 > foreclosures in a 12-month period.
 > - I set the all-time record for the biggest drop
 > in the history of the US stock market.
 > - In my first year in office, over 2 million
 > Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
 > - I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are
 > the richest of any administration in US history. My "poorest
 > millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
 >
 > - I set the record for most campaign fundraising
 > trips by a US President.
 > - I am the all-time US and world record-holder
 > for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
 > - My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and
 > one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate
 > bankruptcy fraud in US History, Enron.
 > - My political party used Enron private jets and
 > corporate attorneys to assure my success with the US Supreme Court
 > during my election decision.
 > - I have protected my friends at Enron and
 > Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money
 > was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent
 > investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.
 > - I presided over the biggest energy crisis in
 > US history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil
 > industry was revealed.
 > - I presided over the highest gasoline prices in
 > US history.
 > - I changed the US policy to allow convicted
 > criminals to be awarded government contracts.
 > - I appointed more convicted criminals to
 > administration than any President in US history.
 > - I created the Ministry of Homeland Security,
 > the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
 > - I've broken more international treaties than
 > any President in US history.
 > - I am the first President in US history to have
 > the United Nations remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.
 > - I withdrew the US from the World Court of Law.
 >
 > - I refused to allow inspector's access to US
 > "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the
 > Geneva Convention.
 > - I am the first President in history to refuse
 > United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election).
 > - I set the record for fewest numbers of press
 > conferences of any President since the advent of television.
 > - I set the all-time record for most days on
 > vacation in any one-year period.
 > - After taking off the entire month of August, I
 > presided over the worst security failure in US history.
 > - I garnered the most sympathy ever for the US
 > after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the
 > US the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy
 > in world history.
 > - I have set the all-time record for most people
 > worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million
 > people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the
 > history of mankind.
 > - I am the first President in US history to
 > order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a
 > sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the
 > majority of US citizens, and the world community.
 > - I have cut health care benefits for war
 > veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and
 > their families in wartime.
 > - In my State of the Union Address, I lied about
 > our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British
 > friends.
 > - I am the first President in history to have a
 > majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to
 > world peace and security.
 > - I am supporting development of a nuclear
 > "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
 > - I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to
 > bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.
 >
 > RECORDS AND REFERENCES
 >
 > - All records of my tenure as governor of Texas
 > are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
 > - All records of SEC investigations into my
 > insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and
 > unavailable for public view.
 > - All records or minutes from meetings that I,
 > or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed
 > in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

Paul Stone wrote:

> It seems that there is a group (CSE Citizens for a Sound Economy) of 
> Republicans who, instead of campaigning for Bush are actually campaigning 
> for Ralph Nader in an effort to draw votes away from John Kerry. Oh, those 
> crazy guys!
> 
> p
> 
> ##########
> Paul Stone
> pas@xxxxxxxx
> Kingsville, ON, Canada 
> 
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