[lit-ideas] Re: What's wrong with this sentence?
- From: Eric Yost <mr.eric.yost@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2011 12:53:34 -0500
On 1/19/2011 7:30 PM, a journalist wrote:
But correspondents say the US side is making sure this state visit lacks none
of the required pomp.
My take is to skip the conjunction, include a
"that," and go positive. Add detail to clarify.
Correspondents say the US side is making sure that
this state visit includes all of the required
pomp. Festivities include a pas de quatre of
painted ostriches, champagne pyramids, and any
number of grandees in diamond-studded dog collars
presenting their anuses in a ritual show of
submission.
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