[lit-ideas] Re: Wednesday Poem
- From: Eric Yost <eyost1132@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 17 Jun 2006 04:11:24 -0400
Cleanthes
Academy
South Athens
Attica
Hellas
Dear Mr. Cleanthes:
Thank you for your interest in Febrile Bank's Achilles and
the Hare Reverse Mortgage. We are eager--some would say too
eager--to help you maximize your financial freedom.
As you surely know, a reverse mortgage is a home loan that
lets you convert a portion of the equity in your home into
cold, hard, tangible, empirically-verifiable cash. Equity
that was slowly, painstakingly built up over years of home
mortgage payments (and all the moral and personal
compromises involved with those payments) can now be paid
back to you. Plus, no repayment is required until you no
longer use the home as their principal residence. If you are
dead and no longer use your home, you can pay us then.
Febrile can give you a head start of half the equity. When
Febrile acquires half of the equity in your property, you
will have already received 3/4 of the estimated total
equity; when Febrile acquires 3/4 of the equity, we will
have paid out 7/8 of the equity, and so on. Who wins? You do!
_Mr. Cleanthes_, now is the time to let _The Academy_
finance your personal Golden Age. You deserve it after all.
A reverse mortgage on _The Academy_ could give you the
assets you need to pursue your dreams -- a shadow
puppet-show hundreds of feet below sunny Orlando, a
black-and-white horse chariot ride around the world, or just
the simple peace of mind that comes from knowing all your
post-Socratics will be provided for. The only limit is your
imagination (and of course the physical laws of the universe).
If you act now, you will receive a free commemorative coin
bearing the likeness of Alcibiades, offer limited while
supplies last.
Uncomfortably cordially,
Haywood Craven
Vice Preside Customer Relations
Febrile North America
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