[lit-ideas] Re: THANKSGIVING POEM

On Thu, Nov 27, 2008 at 1:07 AM, John McCreery <john.mccreery@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> Lovely, but drop the "most" in "kissing true is what most I miss." "Kissing
> true is what I miss" reads just fine.
> John

And, I don't terribly like the third line... Take it out. And
"Scarlett" should be spelled "Scarlet". Oh, and there's just too much
kissing. Please substitute kissing, kiss, and all the derivatives
thereabouts with something else... perhaps hug or cuddle or tussle or
something less suggestive. Hell, while you're at it, just re-write the
whole thing so that it's an Ogden Nash knockoff...

attempting to prove a point.

p


> On Thu, Nov 27, 2008 at 3:01 PM, Mike Geary <atlas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>
>> OH, IF ONLY IT WERE SO!
>>
>>
>> Thank you, Lord, most for this
>> for the lie that lies in every kiss.
>> Even though I kiss, kiss, kiss,
>> kissing true is what most I miss.
>> Miss most but never quite enough,
>> for truth is at the bottom of my list.
>> I confess my lips are but a kind of fist
>> wrapped in softness with a twist
>> of threat like Scarlett's Rhett:
>> "Frankly,my dear...."
>> I kiss my way to a woman's regret.
>>
>>
>> Mike Geary
>> Memphis
>> Be thankful you didn't have to pay to read that.
>>
>>
>>
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>
>
> --
> John McCreery
> The Word Works, Ltd., Yokohama, JAPAN
> Tel. +81-45-314-9324
> jlm@xxxxxxxxxxxx
> http://www.wordworks.jp/
>
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