[lit-ideas] Re: Right to Life, Right to Die

Marlena:<Glad the hospice is attempting to keep her comfortable. That,
indeed is 
palliative care, but normally they would try to spoon feed or give a little 
water as part of palliative care - but the judge denied that.">

If you give water or food by mouth to a person in a PVS, you cause them to
choke to death.  That's why she was on the feeding tube.

Veronica


> [Original Message]
> From: <Eternitytime1@xxxxxxx>
> To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> Date: 3/27/2005 8:15:42 PM
> Subject: [lit-ideas] Re: Right to Life, Right to Die
>
>  
> In a message dated 3/27/2005 8:29:01 AM Central Standard Time,  
> aamago@xxxxxxxxxxxxx writes:
> The  bottom
> line is, her parents got parental urges long after Terry needed  them. 
>
>
> Dear Andy,
> And you say that I have preconceived notions?  How about the thought 
that 
> they were so worried about her that when Michael decided to move her to 
Florida 
> that they shortly followed in order to be able to see her?   (one of the 
> hallmarks of domestic violence is isolating people from those  you love
and who 
> love you--whether emotionally [the only reason they like  'us' is because
of 
> me--you are so stupid/ugly/whatever that it is a good  thing that I am in
your 
> life/she does not want to see you any longer/etc.]  or physically).    
>  
> I'm not saying that there was abuse or not--but you are definitely
writing  
> as though you believe that someone who ends up within a domestic violence

> situation (and men do as well as women, you know) -- that they 'deserve'
it  
> because she/he was hoodwinked into marriage and then unable to return to
her  
> parents if a shelter was 'beneath' her?   I do not think  you  know a
thing about 
> domestic violence and what happens to someone in that sort of  situation,
do 
> you?  And, this has absolutely nothing to do with whether or  not I was a
former 
> member of the 'religious right', btw.  On *average* it  takes about seven 
> times for a woman (maybe men too--that I do not know--and  Carol can tell
me if 
> the statistics have changed...) to actually complete the  leaving
process.  
>  
> You have absolutely no idea what courage it takes, after years of abuse,
to  
> be able to even contemplate leaving.  And, MOST women do not even know 
where 
> to go for help--and even those who would and are trying to help them do 
not 
> have any idea as to go for help.  And, that is if they are able to 
figure out 
> what, exactly, is "wrong".
>  
> I do not think you have any idea what happens to family members when a  
> member of their family is involved with someone who is abusive (esp if
they do  not 
> know and then find out--just see the changes in the one they love...and
what  
> if Terri was so Catholic that divorce was not really an option for
her--and 
> the  parents wanted her to do so [mine did me but I was trapped by my 
> 'vow'...so I do  know a little what it is like to be trapped...])...Do
you?  
>  
> I cannot imagine not being able to be in the room with my child when he
was  
> dying.  I simply cannot.  I do not think that has anything to do with  
> 'adjudging' Michael.  I admit it is really hard hard hard to simply 
evaluate his 
> behavior and be SO thankful and  hopeful--thankful  that  my child will
never 
> ever be like that to someone's parents and hopeful that I  will not have
to deal 
> with someone like him as a wife for my  child.  If he did not see her as 
> having any sort of life and  feeling--then what would it have hurt to
have let them 
> try??  I simply do  not understand.  If it is not going to hurt her and
may 
> not even help  her--but would help THEM and they are her parents--then
why not? 
>   I  do not understand.  And, keeping them from their daughter (and I do
not  
> believe you EVER stop being a parent--ever--though you may try to allow
for  
> healthy boundaries which is what I think they did...and how dare YOU
judge 
> what  sort of parents they were because she had an eating disorder!  Is
every  
> problem a child has because of bad parenting?  None of us are here to
learn  and 
> to grow on our own?  
>  
> If saying that Michael's behavior smacks of power-control issues--and
that  
> he is not healthy in how he acts when he has that power or this would not
be  
> what happens:
>  
> I got this from my sweet dear friend who is an "aging activist" (and not
a  
> member of the 'Religious Right' by any stretch of the imagination...)
>  
> "I understand the husband occasionally lets them "visit" for short
periods  
> but they ofter go 10-12 hours without being able to see her.  There is a  
> policeman at the door and someone in the room whenever they are there to
assure  
> she gets no liquid from them.  Sad case that certainly makes the case for

> Assisted Suicide.  I assume you are aware that Oregon has such a law as
do  a 
> number of countries in Europe...i.e. Denmark, Holland, Sweden.  Some say 
its 
> really devastating the population in Holland...and many comparisons are 
being made 
> to Hitler's destruction of those mentally or physically  handicapped. 
The 
> cost to the state is a burden.
>
> Glad the hospice is  attempting to keep her comfortable.  That, indeed is 
> palliative care, but  normally they would try to spoon feed or give a
little 
> water as part of  palliative care - but the judge denied that."
> "
>  
> I apologize for being so cross in tone and words--but to blame any woman 
for 
> domestic violence is coming too close to home to me and for me.  I will 
end 
> up saying things that I would prefer not to say.  
>  
> Blame the victim--oooh, yes.  If she was abused, it was her fault and 
she 
> deserved to stay there if she was.  THAT sounds more like a 'religious  
> right'/neo-conservative sort of thing to say than anything that *I* would
EVER  say.  
> (They are poor because they had bad parents and if they stay poor  that
is 
> because they deserve it because if they didn't, they would find a way 
out...)
>  
> and I do try to assist people in not being EITHER the victims or the  
> victimizers--but to look for that third option.  
>  
> <deep breath[s]>  and <mental refocusing to find the  'good'>
>  
> Will you give me permission to forward that part of your post which both  
> connects me with the "religious right" and also invalidates pretty much
ANYTHING  
> that I might ever ever say?  I can think of people who have invalidated  
> pretty much ANYTHING that I might ever ever say by calling me part of the

> opposite(s) of the "relgious right".  
>  
> Obviously not part of any group and thoughts and words invalidated by 
almost 
> everyone,
> Marlena in Missouri
> [glad to have gone exploring today and having a sweet day today before  
> reading this post]
>  
>  
>
>
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