[lit-ideas] Re: Philosophical League Tables
- From: John McCreery <john.mccreery@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: "lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 19 Aug 2012 22:41:05 +0900
Ah, the vanity and blindness of philosophers. Mistake a survey for a contest,
don't note that it was published in 1999, and ignore the question whether there
has been anyone whose work since makes it likely that they would appear in a
similar list some time in the future. That's not silly. That's sad. Mental
masturbation leading to a dribble.
Cheers,
John
In Taiwan I studied magicians.
In Japan I joined the guild.
On 2012/08/19, at 22:35, "Walter C. Okshevsky" <wokshevs@xxxxxx> wrote:
> I do believe my succinct yet trenchant philosophical analysis of this Contest
> has gone viral, at least on our list!
>
> Also look me up on Facebook and my blog. (Yeah, right.) And then there's my
> Witter's Twitters, of course. (Implicaturive analyses by JL expected.)
>
> Clearly finally on vacation with little to do but play table tennis, badminton
> and chess, grow raspberries and pineapples, and go blueberry picking and look
> for new recipes for pork ribroast, beer chicken and beef tenderloin, and send
> my Vacation Reply to irate grad students who have failed the Ethics In
> Educational Practice and Policy course. (Like, what does that look like on
> their transcripts? Esp if you're a principal, teacher or school district
> administrator?)
>
> Walter O
>
>
>
> Quoting Eric Yost <mr.eric.yost@xxxxxxxxx>:
>
>>>> This is just silly.
>> --Walter O
>>
>> It was.
>>
>> I thought the thing below was silly when I wrote it, before I had to
>> exchange Holder for Ashcroft and change a sentence or two.
>>
>> ________________
>>
>> And You Thought Richard Reid Was Slow
>> The Fool's Jihad: al-Qaeda Seeking Morons
>> By Eric Yost
>>
>> WASHINGTON (Aug. 5)-Following release of a new audio tape credited to
>> al-Qaeda, Attorney General Eric Holder warned of the "very real
>> possibility of an incredibly lame, ineffective, and incompetent terror
>> attack.'' Holder suggested that the terror network built by
>> mastermind-turned-fish-food, Osama bin Laden, is recruiting the
>> stupidest people on the planet, perhaps with the intention of certifying
>> in The Guinness Book of World Records for "world's stupidest terrorist
>> plot."
>>
>> "They want to strike us whenever and wherever they can,'' Holder told
>> The Learning Channel this Tuesday. "However, they currently seem more
>> intent on setting world records in the 'fool' category, and appear to be
>> recruiting the mentally challenged, village idiots, simpletons, and
>> imbeciles throughout the Muslim, partly Muslim, and rarely Muslim
>> world."
>>
>> While refusing to confirm the tape's authenticity, Holder told PBS's
>> Sesame Street that it, "indicates that the terrorist threat remains, and
>> is perhaps entering one of its more flaky, even spaced-out chapters." He
>> stated that al-Qaeda maintains the same hatred of the US that it did
>> when it attacked on Sept. 11. "However, it's likely the new breed of
>> al-Qaeda recruits are the kind of folk who would starve to death if
>> locked inside a supermarket. Real dummies."
>>
>> The latest al-Qaeda recording, apparently made on a Fisher-Price toy,
>> possibly a Laugh & LearnT Fun With FriendsT Musical Table, states that
>> "American big incompetent will cry and feel bad'' if the US government
>> "keeps using big words to say things we can't figure out." Anonymous
>> intelligence sources confirmed that analysis of the tape indicates the
>> voice is likely that of Bin Laden's former deputy-now doomed
>> international bull's-eye and clay pigeon-Ayman Al-Zawahiri, possibly
>> suffering from some kind of extreme hangover, alalia, or dementia.
>>
>> "This could be a serious threat,'' said Holder, examining his cufflinks.
>> "Or it could be a college prank violating the National Security Act. Or
>> it could be a bizarre obsession by al-Qaeda leadership determined to win
>> listing in The Guinness Book of World Records. Or it could be something
>> we know nothing about and never will. Nevertheless, for yo-yos, the
>> American people are marginally alert, which is more than I can say about
>> al-Qaeda.''
>>
>> An unidentified spokesperson for the Homeland Security Department, Roger
>> Linton Collins, notified federal and state law enforcement agencies that
>> al-Qaeda may attempt hijackings or "stuff," using
>> bicycles-built-for-two, toboggans, steam shovels, donkey carts,
>> wheelbarrows, tricycles, and possibly pogo sticks with purple crepe tied
>> to the handles. Over the weekend, the State Department suspended visa
>> rules for travelers who were unable to name of planet they currently
>> inhabited, identify their hands, or pronounce the word "jihad" in a
>> quiet voice.
>>
>> Holder said this screening, "adds yet another intractable,
>> armadillo-like shell of absolutely savage, knuckle-busting, hard-core
>> titanium security," and spat. Wistfully flexing his left bicep, Holder
>> added that he wished the old color-coded system were in place so he
>> could announce a new terror-color, maybe sepia, concluding, "with
>> enemies like these, who needs friends?"
>>
>>
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>
>
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