[lit-ideas] Re: Only Existentialist Philosophers Need Apply

Body of Marc-Ange Discovered

(UPI-Kandahar)
The remains of Colonel Marc-Ange, special Sorbonne Unit, were found yesterday outside Kandahar. He had apparently been tortured, and beheaded on video. The remainder of the Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade had fled to safety and were being protected by European NATO forces in a special kitten-shaped bunker at an undisclosed location (31.20 N latitude 64.00 E longitude).
Earlier in the day, Taliban propaganda minister Asholly Bootcher released a video of the beheading -- which uses shot blocking and camera angles reminiscent of the oeuvre of Alfred Hitchcock. In it, the late Colonel is heard to exclaim, "Oh God, no! Oh God!" The video is considered too graphic and shocking to be released to the general public, and thus has been picked up for broadcast by surrealist televangelist Jack Van Impe.
Meanwhile Project Giant Robot Jesus, in cooperation with several AC-130 Gunships, appears to be successfully clearing the Afghan-Pakistan border. The Taliban's threatened Project Giant Robot Muhammad is stalled as sects quarrel over the nature and name of replacement parts. 
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