[lit-ideas] Re: Oh, so that's how they do it!

Andreas quotes his E-mail: "Fuel-air explosive air bombs -Not in stock"
____

Bummer. And their customer service probably gives the runaround too.



"Good morning, Shadow Crew."

"Hello, when I ordered the RBK-500Z OFAB-50UD loaded with HE 
fragmentation submunitions you told me it was in stock. Then about two 
weeks later, I received an encrypted email saying it was backordered."

"Yes?"

"According to my invoice, I can replace backordered munitions according 
to your Shadow Crew Replacement Chart. The replacement seems to be the 
RBK-500U."

"Yes?"

"That's the 450mm diameter and 2,500mm long model, isn't it, for under 
600 kilos?"

"Yes, sir. According to our spec chart, when loaded with OAB-2.5PT 
fragmentation bomblets, the weight is 500kgs. But if you upgrade your 
order now , you can choose between:
        BETAB-M concrete piercing bomblets with total weight of 480kg;
        OFAB-50UD HE Frag bomblets with total weight of 520kgs; OR
        PTAB HEAT submunitions with total weight of 520kgs..."

"Upgrade?"

"Yes, sir, read the encrypted fine print on the reverse side of your 
sales agreement. By upgrading now, you will receive munitions capable of
penetrating over 200mm of armor with 352 munitions per bomb. For a mere 
added cost of $200,000 plus the $1.75 million mandatory warranty on 
backorders, you will receive an SPBE sensor-fused munition with
MMW radar and IR seeker built in--this little dandy weighing only 450kg 
with 15 submunitions."

"Hey, wait a minute! MANDATORY warranty on backorders? $1.75 million?"

"It's all in your encrypted sales agreement."

"Listen you! All I wanted was a RBK-500Z OFAB-50UD loaded with HE 
fragmentation submunitions! You told me it was in stock."

"Sir, there's no reason for you to raise your voice with me."

"I want to speak to your manager! NOW!!"

"On moment please." {click}

"Hello? Hello? Hello?"

____

Then follows the outraged letter to the Better Business Bureau.

Regards,
Eric

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