[lit-ideas] Re: Oh, so that's how they do it!
- From: Eric Yost <NYCEric@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 28 Sep 2004 01:49:14 -0400
Andreas quotes his E-mail: "Fuel-air explosive air bombs -Not in stock"
____
Bummer. And their customer service probably gives the runaround too.
"Good morning, Shadow Crew."
"Hello, when I ordered the RBK-500Z OFAB-50UD loaded with HE
fragmentation submunitions you told me it was in stock. Then about two
weeks later, I received an encrypted email saying it was backordered."
"Yes?"
"According to my invoice, I can replace backordered munitions according
to your Shadow Crew Replacement Chart. The replacement seems to be the
RBK-500U."
"Yes?"
"That's the 450mm diameter and 2,500mm long model, isn't it, for under
600 kilos?"
"Yes, sir. According to our spec chart, when loaded with OAB-2.5PT
fragmentation bomblets, the weight is 500kgs. But if you upgrade your
order now , you can choose between:
BETAB-M concrete piercing bomblets with total weight of 480kg;
OFAB-50UD HE Frag bomblets with total weight of 520kgs; OR
PTAB HEAT submunitions with total weight of 520kgs..."
"Upgrade?"
"Yes, sir, read the encrypted fine print on the reverse side of your
sales agreement. By upgrading now, you will receive munitions capable of
penetrating over 200mm of armor with 352 munitions per bomb. For a mere
added cost of $200,000 plus the $1.75 million mandatory warranty on
backorders, you will receive an SPBE sensor-fused munition with
MMW radar and IR seeker built in--this little dandy weighing only 450kg
with 15 submunitions."
"Hey, wait a minute! MANDATORY warranty on backorders? $1.75 million?"
"It's all in your encrypted sales agreement."
"Listen you! All I wanted was a RBK-500Z OFAB-50UD loaded with HE
fragmentation submunitions! You told me it was in stock."
"Sir, there's no reason for you to raise your voice with me."
"I want to speak to your manager! NOW!!"
"On moment please." {click}
"Hello? Hello? Hello?"
____
Then follows the outraged letter to the Better Business Bureau.
Regards,
Eric
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