[lit-ideas] Re: Lumpy Vista

I'm now in the wine business.
How do you know for certain that your wine grapes are absolutely ready to be picked? Simple. You wait, and wait, and wait, and then one day you step outside to throw the ball for the dog and find a whole flock of birds gorging themselves. Bloody dinosaurs...should have stayed extinct, is my view.
I harvested what was left of the cab and merlot and ran around to the other vines, ending up with about a half a shopping basket-full which, when pressed by my patented process, yielded two full cups of juice. This I blended with some leftover wine from South Africa, chucked in a bit of yeast, stretched a balloon over the top and hey presto, Lumpy Vista winery is in business. Look for me in the pages of "The Wine Ogler."
What is this patented grape-press? You take one nice clean stainless- steel mixing bowl from a nest of three. You scald it with boiling water. You take a second nice, clean etc and scald the outside of the bottom of that. You put the small one inside the large one and add weight the old-fashioned way; you stand in the bowl. 

Next year the harvest might double!
I'm taking reservations for a limited number of the barrel-select, hand-picked, lightly-killed, naturally -recycled tasting opportunities of the future. 

David Ritchie,
Portland, Oregon
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