[lit-ideas] Re: Just Another Bloomin' Monday

  • From: David Ritchie <ritchierd@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Mon, 27 Sep 2004 19:43:07 -0700

Home from Julia's soccer game, past the hour at which Jeeves would--were
this a reasonably arranged household--be ready with his special concoctions,
proffered on the silver salver, I was greeted by my wife with the welcome
words, "We've got to go."  To a man who had but light vegetables and pasta
for lunch, this seemed highly unreasonable.  "No," I said, mouthing the word
that so many people in this world seem to find difficult.  "No...  Where?"

Back-to-school night was the answer.  Now came the ethical quandry.  I went
to back-to-school night for Julia last year.  Laura went to Emily's.  Laura
went to Julia's this year so...  But I am already hostile towards Emily's
high school, and hostile on an empty stomach is not a Ritchie they would
probably want to encounter.  Meanwhile, Laura mentioned that the white SAAB,
the older one, is acting up.  I have been suggesting for weeks that we
replace it also.  Came the response, "What's wrong with it?"  I begged off.
I ate Highland cow.  I drank a glass of wine.  I feel one hudred percent
better.  (Cotes du Rhone, if you must know.)


Meanwhile there comes a Deanly memo:

Dear Faculty,

I am delighted to announce that Professor David Ritchie has been given
release time from his teaching contract this year to help the faculty and
the college pursue faculty development opportunities.

Please let us know, asap, how you and/or your department would like to
put David's fine abilities in concept development, research, and writing
to use.

As long-time members of this list, I am offering you discount tickets to my
next concept development event.  I shall read poems and generally raise
awareness about under-developed faculties, ones where conceptual poverty has
reached appalling levels.  Our ambitious-- but reachable-- goal is to raise
one hundred thousand concepts before Christmas.

David Ritchie
Portland, Oregon

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