Home from Julia's soccer game, past the hour at which Jeeves would--were this a reasonably arranged household--be ready with his special concoctions, proffered on the silver salver, I was greeted by my wife with the welcome words, "We've got to go." To a man who had but light vegetables and pasta for lunch, this seemed highly unreasonable. "No," I said, mouthing the word that so many people in this world seem to find difficult. "No... Where?" Back-to-school night was the answer. Now came the ethical quandry. I went to back-to-school night for Julia last year. Laura went to Emily's. Laura went to Julia's this year so... But I am already hostile towards Emily's high school, and hostile on an empty stomach is not a Ritchie they would probably want to encounter. Meanwhile, Laura mentioned that the white SAAB, the older one, is acting up. I have been suggesting for weeks that we replace it also. Came the response, "What's wrong with it?" I begged off. I ate Highland cow. I drank a glass of wine. I feel one hudred percent better. (Cotes du Rhone, if you must know.) Meanwhile there comes a Deanly memo: Dear Faculty, I am delighted to announce that Professor David Ritchie has been given release time from his teaching contract this year to help the faculty and the college pursue faculty development opportunities. Please let us know, asap, how you and/or your department would like to put David's fine abilities in concept development, research, and writing to use. As long-time members of this list, I am offering you discount tickets to my next concept development event. I shall read poems and generally raise awareness about under-developed faculties, ones where conceptual poverty has reached appalling levels. Our ambitious-- but reachable-- goal is to raise one hundred thousand concepts before Christmas. David Ritchie Portland, Oregon ------------------------------------------------------------------ To change your Lit-Ideas settings (subscribe/unsub, vacation on/off, digest on/off), visit www.andreas.com/faq-lit-ideas.html