[lit-ideas] I Take Full Responsibility For Not Being the One to Blame [was: WOdunnit]

Eric Yost belittles me for having only two hundred fifty-three thousand highly literate friends even though I count him among them. So be it. I was pleased that Eric was willing and able to blame Kaiser Wilhelm II and all the Hohenzollerns. Blame must be placed somewhere. We can't shirk off that responsibility. I was greatly relieved that Eric did not try to argue that Walter is Canadian, not Russian, as if that had anything to do with anything. Walter might not be pure Russian, I don't know, but, by god, he's got some Russian in him and "Once a Russian always a Communist." I think Plato said that. Like I said, I don't know just how Russian Walter is, but I do know that Communists are behind everything evil, including militant Islamic jihad. The Russian Communists turned Afghanistan over to the jihadists rather than stay and fight to the very last man. And no wonder they didn't win, as Lawrence points out, they were fighting against our superior weapons. Our expensive Free Enterprise military weapons can beat their cheap Communist factory-made military weapons any day of the week. We'll always win, unless, that is, the leftist, loser-loving liberals get into power and beat our swords into commie plowshares, then it'll be time to kiss Western Civilization goodbye. Better start pricing prayer mats, all you pacifist punks. In other words, Eric is right to blame Wilhelm and the Hohenzollerns, just as I am right to blame Walter and the Russian people for everything bad and Walter is smart to take responsibility on his shoulders for not being blameworthy and passing the buck to his secretary. In fact, I no longer blame Walter, only his secretary. I'll bet she's a Russian Muslim. 

Mike Geary
Memphis
----- Original Message ----- From: "Eric Yost" <mr.eric.yost@xxxxxxxxx> 
To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2008 12:02 AM
Subject: [lit-ideas] WOdunnit
Whoops-a-daisy! I had a whimsy about a crypto-feminist exercise technique that could reverse memory loss by continuous hypothalamic stimulation if only there were enough paparazzi around to make everyone a celebrity, and the Olympics were moved from China to a rain forest in Cameroon. Seemed good stuff at the time, so I sent a submission query for the article to The Wilson Quarterly, which immediately responded with a form rejection letter, a letter that I mistakenly assumed was a personal attack on me from one of the two hundred fifty-three thousand highly-literate friends of Mike Geary. Naturally, I countered with a bristling porcupine of a retort, thinking I was sending it to Mike's angry yokefellow and toady. Yet when I harmonized my Outbox, I noticed that this tempestuous amphigory had accidentally been addressed to Cary Grant's next of kin. Gaffe is not a strong enough word. WHO could have done this, I thought. Just as the faint thought-balloon lingered over my head, I was startled by the upstairs neighbors practicing their circus act, happened to look up, and subsequently misinterpreted the thought-balloon's text as "WO could have done this." Minutes ago, I checked the List and discovered that WO did do this. And I wasn't the only victim! Mike was blaming Walter. Walter was accepting the blame, and WO actually seemed willing to accept more blame on impartial shoulders broad as a Mount Pinatubo's back. The only logical reaction is to blame someone else. So I have decided to blame it on Kaiser Wilhelm II, and, to a lesser extent, the Hohenzollern clan in general. Moreover, I will continue to blame Friedrich Wilhelm Viktor Albert von Preussen for the next six minutes, or until that blasted thought-balloon disappears. After all, what would Spinoza do? Except not post this, that is ... 

Da Shield's Hamlet
Nick Charles, UT

------------------------------------------------------------------
To change your Lit-Ideas settings (subscribe/unsub, vacation on/off,
digest on/off), visit www.andreas.com/faq-lit-ideas.html 

------------------------------------------------------------------
To change your Lit-Ideas settings (subscribe/unsub, vacation on/off,
digest on/off), visit www.andreas.com/faq-lit-ideas.html

Other related posts: