[lit-ideas] Re: How do I look (Re: Re: Takiyyah)
- From: Carol Kirschenbaum <carolkir@xxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 08 Apr 2006 15:41:09 -0700
Do you have any idea how long it takes to train a male to recognize these
things?>
ck: Y'know, I wish the issue were always so simple, so overt. It should be
plain to everyone, of each gender, that giving a compliment is a clear way to
ingratiate yourself. Don't tell me guys don't know that--remember dating lines?
Most guys have no trouble dredging up compliments to fling at the street of
complete strangers. No no, you're talking about men who withhold compliments,
and by so doing, hurt their partner's feelings. These guys get what they
deserve, starting with delays out the door, then fights with their
under-appreciated wives, and perhaps divorce. Ask a guy whether he'd rather
give his wife a compliment or get a divorce and he'll probably laugh and mumble
something about honesty. Funny how often honesty is negative, in a relationship
that's on the skids.
It's not about honesty. It's about couples making one another feel good
about being in that relationship. What could ever be wrong, or dishonest, about
saying, "You look great to me"? If your partner doesn't always look great to
you, you're not looking with love.
Carol,
who shudda been smarter
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