[lit-ideas] Re: Hitler/Stalin
- From: Andy <mimi.erva@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Thu, 13 Aug 2009 19:21:25 -0700 (PDT)
Conscience is an interesting idea. My understanding is that conscience comes
at least in part from attachment/bonding to mother in infancy. Children who
don't attach, I think the reasoning goes, are at risk for not having a
conscience. Personally I think the master emotion of *appropriate* shame is
responsible for keeping people in line. That's in place by the age of two I
think (guilt is established by the age of four). Much of society's woes comes
from vastly *inappropriate* shame, which is an inappropriate, unearned sense of
defectiveness that's handed to the child in one form or another that later gets
projected onto others. (Clearly that was Hitler's problem.)
Focusing on the child is a step in the right direction, much better
than treating them like nonentities. But focusing on the marriage creates
healthy children and adults. The marriage is like the soil in which the child
(the plant) grows. Adoring the child is like focusing on the plant and not the
soil; that's what breeds entitlement and NPD (narcissistic personality
disorder; Hitler was adored by his mother while nearly killed by his father;
nothing to make anybody crazy there). Children need to feel safe and
accepted. That's surprisingly not that easy to come by. Historically being
sent away to boarding school certainly was no exercise in safety and it was the
norm.
--- On Thu, 8/13/09, Donal McEvoy <donalmcevoyuk@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
From: Donal McEvoy <donalmcevoyuk@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: [lit-ideas] Re: Hitler/Stalin
To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Date: Thursday, August 13, 2009, 9:29 PM
--- On Thu, 13/8/09, Andy <mimi.erva@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> Not all children grow up to be monsters if they are
> tortured, that's true, probably most don't, at least
> not on a grand scale, but it's because we don't know
> how the stars will line up that we need to prevent all
> abuse.
Preventing _all_ abuse is all very well as a long-term goal, but in the
meantime we should perhaps be alert to stop abused children of the Hitler,
Stalin type ever getting into positions of power, where they can organise the
murder and torture of others. Minimising violence may be said to be still the
central problem of human civilisation.
It would seem to me that our US/UK culture is developing in two contradictory
ways (as cultures often do): there is (overall) increased awareness of a
child-centred approach to child-rearing compared to fifty or sixty years ago
and comparatively less social tolerance of many punishments and other
'treatments' that used to be meted out; at the same time, many children are
raised in a culture where development of their conscience is put at risk by the
values of materialism, consumerism, cynicism and an excessive sense of
entitlement - and their vulnerability is increased when their parents and peers
subscribe to these values.
Btw, in case this seems reasonable, my partner has just asked me to write
(having been provoked by news of America's response to Obama's health care
plans) that Americans come across as a bunch of "thick nutters". And I have
just said, "Funny you should say that, because most of them don't believe in
Darwinian evolution either."
Donal
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