[lit-ideas] Re: English Pubic Schools

----- Original Message ----- 
From: 
To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: 2/17/2006 9:41:37 AM 
Subject: [lit-ideas] Re: English Pubic Schools


In a message dated 2/17/2006 6:59:34 A.M. Central Standard Time, 
aamago@xxxxxxxxxxxxx writes:
My point is that there needs to be a blanket law of you keep your hands to 
yourself no matter what.  Then there will be no extensive beatings.
Hi, Irene,
It is already illegal to do extensive beatings.


***If it was illegal to do any beatings, there would be no extensive beatings.



And, yes, there are lots of classes for parents detailing what to do as 
parents--the Family Literacy Center offers them, most hospitals have them, many 
many of them are out there.

and, share with me what Eric Berne says to do in that situation I offered--and 
what he then says to do if it does not work.   (Because those parents who 
called 9-1-1 were very much your type of parent. They had tried all possible 
options)


***It starts in earliest life, like an overall good diet.  It's not an 
situation-specific thing like eating junk food and taking a supplement for 
vitamin C deficiency.  You'll have to read the book.  I can get the name for 
you if I haven't thrown it out.   The problem is people don't understand how 
children or puppies think.  It's why everyone loves a puppy but so many wind up 
in the pound.  


and what would you say if your kid started beating you?  How would you get away 
and handle it?  What if it happened over and over?


****If the kid started beating me, I'd say, where did you learn how to do that? 
 If it happened over and over, I'd get myself to a long overdue counselor and 
wonder what I did wrong and what are my options at this point.  By then the 
damage can still be reversed, but preventing the damage is far easier, needless 
to say.



Did you see the story last year about the couple who moved out of their own 
home and lived in the yard because they couldn't get their kids to do anything 
and the kids were running the house?  and legally they couldn't tell the kids 
to go away and live somewhere else?


****That was a couple of really bad parents.  People think respect and 
nonviolence equates to no boundaries at all.  It's exactly the opposite.  Kids 
NEED boundaries, they WANT boundaries.  They don't want friends, they want 
parents.  You're arguing in favor of people FIRST getting a clue, then having 
the kid.  Also, people unconsciously cue kids to live out their "unfinished 
business".  The parents need extensive psychotherapy, and, unfortunately, 
having messed up the kids, the kids need it too.

I commend you for at least getting rational finally, admitting that maybe, just 
maybe there's another way to look at things.  Most people feel too threatened 
to do even that much.



Best,
Marlena in Missouri

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